What This Post Was Really About…

February 10, 2009 at 8:03 pm (Attitude in Overdrive, Crazy Shit, Work)

I have all of this stuff rolling around in my head and then I realized, even though I’m surfing the net that, “Hey, I have Internet and I CAN BLOG!” I know you’re thrilled that I figured that out.

My 20 year high school reunion is coming up sometime this summer and I’d rather be about 10 lbs. lighter of fat by the time that happens. The last time I weighed myself (with my clothes on, work shoes, my insulated jacket, and my parka) I weighed 150 lbs. So, I weigh somewhere between 140 and 150 lbs. Technically, my BMI is somewhere between 24 and 25, which is considered borderline or just unhealthy, but, they just take into account weight and height.

Because of my profession, I carry a lot of muscle. Muscle is heavier than fat and I wear a size 8, so, I’m not really concerned about weight so much as where the fat I do have on my body is distributed. I have boobs, so that’s where some of the fat is. The rest of it resides along my mid-section, or, at least I think it does.

While there are no pictures to prove it, I was ginormous with Nate. I have a lot of stretchy skin to go with my stretchy marks.  I walk everyday, carry ice buckets and trays, and occasionally I’ll schlep a keg up the backsteps and through the dining room. No, not the ginormous barrel kegs, the smaller ones that only weigh 75 lbs. instead of 125 lbs.

Despite all of that, I was really worried about my cardiovascular health (because I smoke… a lot), and worried that Iwasn’t getting the appropriate cardio workout simply by walking in the restaurant and carrying trays.

Then we had four or five inches of snow and I had to help clear the parking lot and I was out shoveling wet, heavy snow for half an hour or so and didn’t break a sweat or even breath heavy and then heard that the reason people have heart attacks while shoveling snow is because after 6 minutes its the equivelant of a strenuous cardio workout. So, okay, I felt better after finding that out and figured that I must be in pretty good shape after all. 

I definitely eat a lot of food. I always have. I like food. I like food a lot. When I’m working, I eat a huge breakfast, otherwise I’m hungry by noon… and we eat at 10:30. Waitressing burns anywhere from 170 to 350 calories an hour, depending on how busy we are, and whether my section is at the front or the back of the restaurant and how many trays I carry and how heavy they are. 

Which reminds me of the day that my insurance agent came to have me sign some paperwork for my life insurance. It was around 4 in the afternoon and it had been butt-ass busy that day and I was pulling a double. I figure I had burned through my calorie rich breakfast about two hours prior because I was ready to eat a cow, so I did, in the form of a steak burger.

If you’re like me, and you have blood sugar problems, getting too hungry is a horrible thing because you literally just want to stuff your face. You growl when others come near your food and its really not advisable to make fun of a hypoglycemic when they’re hungry. Really, its not. That’s how my insurance man almost met his end.

He has to ask all of those questions, like my age, weight, and height. So, I told him, in between mouthfuls of food. When he asked my weight  and I told him (yes, a truthful 140) he guffawed and said, “Well, at the end of that burger you’re going to weight five pounds more.”

That just totally hit me the wrong way. Maybe it was because it was the day after Christmas and I was working a double and had worked doubles for days before Christmas and I was just butt-ass tired and my blood sugar was in my toenails and I would have eaten his face off, ala Hannibal Lecter, if it would have made me not so close to the edge of insanity to be that hungry.

And being the redneck bitch I am, and not having full control of my sensibilities, I drew back the sleeve on my uniform, flexed my impressive bicep, and informed him, “I could put you through that wall.”

Don’t, just don’t, don’t make fun of people who eat and who like to eat and who need to eat or they will hurt someone or start crying or both. And DON”T make fun of someone’s weight. Whether or not I’m carrying around 40 lbs of fat or muscle is really not up for discussion because I’M NOT SLEEPING WITH HIM!!! I can’t remember the last time my boyfriend looked at my stomach because he’s either staring at or sucking on my tits or he’s fucking me while staring at or sucking on my tits!

But what this post was really supposed to be about was nuts. You know, high fiber, Omega-3 nuts, which are supposed to be healthy for you, but they cost a shit-ton of money and I was wondering exactly what a serving of nuts is and whether or not the fat intake is worth the nutritional value since I’m worried about fat around my middle section and whether or not I should just try to eat healthier in the evenings and maybe work out with Billy Blanks two or three times a week in addition to my work at the restaurant to get rid of any belly fat that may or may not be hiding under my stretchy skin.

Not to mention, the last time I worked out with Billy Blanks (TaeBo dude), my stretchy skin looked better, but then I hyperextended my ankle and then my TaeBo video burned in the fire and I’ve missed it ever since.  Its been two years since the fire… wow.

Anywho, nuts, that’s what this whole thing was really about, and the fact I don’t like the stretchy skin on my stomach.


  1. kenju said,

    I didn’t notice any extra fat on you anywhere. You look lean and mean to me……LOL

  2. Tina said,

    People who make fun about anyone else are just insecure about themselves, plain and simple. 🙂
    Being hypoglycemic sucks, especially when you are working and you kind of forget about it since you are so busy but you start feeling sick. It can get bad, especially when your brain goes blank and you get weak.

  3. Evil Twin's Wife said,

    I get that way when I’m hungry too. Get an exercise ball – they’re not very expensive and they really do with the waist line area if that’s your concern. Plus, it’s fun! You just bounce around on it. I need to get back in the habit of using mine!

  4. Tammie said,

    I’m not a tiny woman but who gives a shit?
    I’ve stayed the same size for year and years.
    I’m in the same size I was in when Mr.Man and I got married 18 years ago.
    Since then I’ve squirted out three kids.
    I am who I am…

    I think you look great and I wouldn’t worry about what some idiot says.
    As long as you feel good and you know you’re in good physical shape, that’s all that matters.

  5. Vince said,

    You so dated yourself. My 25th high school reunion is this year (assmuing anyone organizes anything). So I now know you’re 5 years younger than me. Which technically makes you a kid.

    And BTW, I weigh about 10 pounds more than you. Hah!

    Oh, and never mind those Omega 3 nuts. I checked with my dietician and peanuts are really good for you. I eat tons and I still lost wieght. It’s about watching carb and sugar intake. And they’re not too expensive. If you can affort them, pistachios are good too.

  6. blackpunkin said,

    I hide it well, Kenju!

    Dude, wasn’t in the mood to psychoanalzye the guy, just wanted to deck him. Eh, you know how I felt.

    I’ve heard of the exercise ball, ETW, but I really, really like Tae Bo. I like to sweat baby!

    My Blonde Goddess, you look faboo for having three kids! It just ticked me off, but I was hungry.

    Yes, Vince, I did date myself, but I’m not ashamed of being almost 40. Could give two farts, I just want a trimmer waistline!

  7. PandoraWilde said,

    The only time I’ve been a “normal” weight was during an abusive lifestyle paired with an abusive relationship. Funny what constant stress and fighting paired with abuses and a heavy manual labor job (throwing people around for a living does put on the muscle tho, so that was good–I lost 40 lbs in the first three months on full time) does for the figure.

    Unfortunately, the smaller my ass got the worse the abuse got, so I can’t say it was all good. Actually I can’t say much of it was good except to help me a bit now with the health issues–having the background I did helps keep a decent baseline and deal with spikes.

    What truly counts is liking yourself–at my smallest adult weight I hated everyone, including me. These days I may be a pile of overweight due to not being able to exercise but I like me better now too, so it evens out ~grins~

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