Post # 503 – The Last Post of the Year
Well, Happy New Year Bloggers. What a year it has been.
January – Met KATEY, Aimee, Regan, Jamie, Celti and Pup in Kansas City, Missouri.
February – Trouble with Nate, trouble with Jeff, trouble with AZ.
March – Visit AJ in Nashville, visit my cousin, aunt and uncle, and Seven in New Orleans, visit Brighton and family, Zelda, Jethro and family, tinyhands, my sister, BIL, and nephews in Houston, visit AJ in Nashville again.
April – Visit with Troy in Lexington, VA, bought beads. Somewhere between April and May I went back to Nashville to see my cousin but didn’t see AJ.
May – Met Michael in Las Vegas.
June – Visit Michael in Los Angeles.
July – Nate’s 9th birthday, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince came out, bombing in London.
August – Visit Michael in L.A. Meet Jeanette and Tony, visit with Aimee and A.J. Get stuck in Atlanta airport.
September – Katrina. Troy comes home from Afghanistan.
October – Michael comes to WV
November – Jeff’s car accident, the beginnings of Bo-Attila-Peep and Vlad’s Adventures at School
December – Trip to NC to see El Sid and buy beads.
Plans for the New Year:
Find out what is up with AZ. He’s not communicating with me. Makes me nervous.
New job
Selling beadwork
Finish novella, sell novella.
Pray more, try to control less, especially about Nate.
Speaking of my little dude… I bought him The Best of Nickelodeon Drawing Book and Kit. Its a step-by-step guide to drawing the characters. I thought it would help him with sequencing. Here’s his first effort.
If you don’t recognize this fellow, its Timmy from the Fairly OddParents. I’m very proud.
Peeps, its been a great year in many ways, especially meeting the ones of you that I have met and the ones I’ve spoken with on the phone only, the gifts and birthday cards and Christmas cards, making Katey’s necklace, the e-mails, the chats, the encouragement on my writing and beading, the always lively exchange, and the ways you make me laugh. Thank you all so much for continuing to be a part of my life and allowing me to be a part of yours.
I wish you all the very best the New Year can offer.
Oh, and Nate’s plans for the New Year? World domination as the next Mad Scientist…
The Peach Is Green
I started feeling ill Tuesday night. Stomach cramps. I was up and down the entire night. Nate had the throw-ups so I figured, well, its my turn. Jeff and T-Bird had problems at the other end. Figured that might be in the works as well. Nope. I had stomach cramps and a fever and nausea. My body feels like I’ve been beaten with a baseball bat. I had a pop-tart, 7-Up, and water yesterday. I burped a lot. I slept a lot. I had a fever, yet my feet were cold. I’ve taken three hot, hot showers. I’m craving spaghetti.
Good news on the job front. I received a call Tuesday about a job interview for a job I really, really want. Its an investigating job with a health insurance company. My interview is the 4th. Since I know they’re interviewing for three days, I’ve decided to forgo the drab brown, green, dark blue business suit and go in a red skirt and multi-colored blazer. I’ll need to stand out, not blend in. For today, back to work.
Everything I Needed to Know About Holiday Travel . . .
I learned from my niece and nephews… 
Look Cute and Stylish
Make friends with fellow travelers
Dress for large crowds in appropriate headgear
Smile!
Rolling luggage is essential
Make funny faces
Relax and play a little
Bring a big bodyguard named “Dad.”
I Wish I Was Mrs. Claus
If I were Mrs. Claus
then I could hitch a ride
with the big guy
the one who brings the gifts
and watches children sleep
who eats the pickled eggs
and drinks the beer
while reindeer wait
on prancing feet
I would rouse each of you
with a soft caress
and a feather soft kiss
and whisper a holiday greeting
before disappearing
into the night
leaving fairy dust
as the wind blows me away
in snowy, swirling gusts
Away I would fly
nestled in the sleigh
while you turn
and sigh
and sleep
safe and sound
and full of good dreams
of mistletoe kisses
and candy cremes
In the morn
when you awake
and your feet
first hit the floor
and your family dances
in my fairy dust
I expect you to laugh, ha ha ha!
And sing, fa la la la la
la la la la
Yes, I wish I were Mrs. Claus
so I could visit you all
and hug you
and squeeze you
and kiss your foreheads
Instead I’ll leave some fairy dust
so you remember Inanna was here
and wishes you the best of holiday cheer!
The SIL
First, more beaded goodness…
Second, well, my Mom can be very negative so in that regard, my brother married his mother because my SIL is very negative as well. She talks about her parents, they talk about her, we talk, everyone talks and I still don’t know her. I think her father is an alcoholic, she doesn’t like him much, she wants my brother to move to Alabama because her family interferes too much up here, my brother doesn’t want to. I could go on, but the fact is, its one of those situations where you just have to take it for what it is.
I feel as though I have to take her as I find her (that’s a legal expression). I kinda feel sorry for her but I don’t give her any ammunition. I guess my name is mud too because I made beaded ornament covers for the entire family, plus I got the boys a set of pajamas each and got Annie an outfit. I’m not sure she realizes that I could have sold those 5 ornament covers for $25 a piece. You do the math. And its about money to them… or to her. But, I don’t really know. I’m not sure I want to. I’m not sure I don’t want to. Its a toss up.
I guess my Mom just reminded me that it could all be a farce and right now my ears should be burning because I’m being talked about. Which, frankly, makes me sad.
Christmas Day, Sorta
My bro and SIL, nephews and niece came in for the holidays. Since they’re going back on Christmas Eve and will be spending the majority of their time at their home here (about 2 ½ hours north), we had Christmas on Sunday. Well, Nate and I opened a few gifts but my mom saved the rest for this coming Sunday.
First, the boys were rowdy but much better behaved than normal. Nate and J1 spent a ton of time together. J2 has asthma and the dry air was making breathing a bit difficult. Not to mention, if he had to have a breathing treatment we would have had to take him to the hospital since their luggage was left in Alabama long after they left which is where his nebulizer was. Eventually he started feeling better and joined his brother and Nate in playing on the big round bales of hay in the bottom field.
Our sweet Annie has grown into a precious toddler. My parents got her a little stroller for her baby dolls and toddled around pushing it everywhere all. day. long. She took right to me and she’s just so different than the boys. There was a little ache in my heart knowing the fact I would probably never have a little girl but that passed about the time she took a shite.
I have to say, this is the best holiday we, as an extended family, have ever had together. I have to eat crow, or rather, at least admit fault. My SIL set me back on my heels. She was telling my Mom and I how much happier she is in Alabama and she believes its because she’s away from her interfering family and her Mom and Dad are not stuck up her butt all the time. I’m not sure I’ve quite recovered yet.
She said that her parents are very critical of the way she and my brother are raising the kids and she feels as though she can’t do anything right around them. My mom said if her mom was meant to raise those children then she would have had them herself. I’ve never ever heard my SIL be so critical of her family. I guess we were all under the illusion that she enjoyed spending so much time with them. Maybe she didn’t realize how much stress she was under until she left. Regardless, it definitely gave my mom and I something to chew on.
Maybe WE’VE been too critical. Of course, I do believe if you allow your children to bite, pinch, and punch that they should be reprimanded, whether its mine or yours. That goes for all of ya! However, I can say the boys have benefitted from being in Alabama. They seem very happy, they were thrilled to see us, and having three rambunctious boys was not good inside, so we tossed them out to go play on the 600+ acres my parents have. Nate and J1 took off a bit too far. A precursor of things to come, I’m sure.
I definitely ended up with a different view of how things have been for my SIL since the birth of her first and what kind of stress she’s under. Yes, I had to change my view and have to honestly say, “Maybe she’s not so bad after all.”
I Broke Sid’s Cherry
Yes, faithful minions, twas I, the Nanner Peach, who broke the Doom Bunny’s cherry this weekend. After multitudes of e-mails, uncertainties, and checkbook balancing, I set off from Casa Moon Saturday morning about 4:30. Sid had graciously invited me to the great state of NC for a beading buying bonanza. It was beadiful my people, absolutely beadiful.
I miscalculated the distance so Sid and I had to rush through our coffee and pastries so Sid could get to work. I had no idea how Sid looked. I didn’t know if she was tall or short, heavy or thin. Imagine my surprise when this dark-haired, fresh-faced, smiling young woman, who would have looked at home on any college campus, came across the parking lot. Hugs, hugs, hugs, smiles, pastry eating, coffee drinking, bead talk followed.
Then, a rush to the bead shop, which was, for a very tired Peach, beadtopia. This place was BUSY and sounded like it got even busier after I left! I made out with 10 new vials of delicas (that’s the creme de la creme of Japanese beads), a pack of Czech’s, three spools of thread, and two different kinds of needles. I’ll not disclose how much cash I dropped but thanks to Sid, it was less than it should have been. (Friend discounts ROCK!) THANK YOU SID!!! *MUAH!*
Sadly, I had to get back home, instead of napping, so after many hugs, I had to leave Sid to her beadiful existence. I have no doubt if I lived closer, Sid and I would spend many hours in a beading circle. I fell in love with one of her gorgeous creations on display and for sale at the bead shop. Think mermaids and fairies. Beautiful and something I would be proud to wear.
As for my beads, I finally got the opportunity to sit down with my new beads, thread, and needles to start my Mom’s Christmas gift. After two false starts, I hit a great rhythm. If you recall, I’m making my mom a bracelet (instead of watchband) based on the Log Cabin quilt pattern. I had planned on blue and purple, but ended up with creams, browns, and greens. The colors are blending beadifully. AND, since my mom gave me my digi cam yesterday, I will be able to post a pic once I get the first section done.
I’ll tell you about Christmas with the bro and family tomorrow. Thanks for all of your comments on my last post. You guys and gals give me faith and keep me from pulling my hair out. Thanks!
Vlad and Attila Go to School
Two hour meeting. The school flip-flopped on Nate’s “behavior” problem, stating that he is very tired in the afternoons. On one hand stating he is overwhelmed and frustrated, on the other hand calling it “silent defiance.”
Jeff was so upset his hands shook uncontrollably, he cried at one point. I told the principal that threatening to send Nate from the classroom because of a hand stamp was “ridiculous!” We were told things that simply weren’t true. I know the teacher is not doing things orally with Nate like she should, if she was then the “unfinished” assignments would be marked and sent home as finished orally. They’re not.
True, based on what they’re saying, Nate has an attitude problem (which includes inappropriate responses when he fusses with a classmate), which we intend to work with him on. I pointed out that ADHD children and children with learning disabilities have a difficult time socially as well. They miss the subtle clues that lead to good social relationships. I asked him to receive counseling to help improve his social acceptance, which may improve his attitude.
Julie asked yesterday about his friends. He has TLC next door, otherwise, no. Even though children speak to him all the time in the grocery store and other places, Nate is bashful and backward and unsure of himself, so even though he may respond, he’s not the type of child that goes to others. He watches from the fringes, unsure of where he belongs.
It seems his problems are in the afternoon. He’s been tired, irritable, and cranky in the past two weeks. I told them he is going through a growth spurt, which cannot be helped. I asked that the oral and written work be spread out over the day. It may be that he is expending all of his energy writing in the morning and then is exhausted by afternoon. They assured me this is taking place. That’s bullshit for the reason listed above.
It may be a blood sugar problem, they do run in both of our families. It may just be Nate. It may just be the disability. It may be everything. It may be he’s fucking tired of school and, like everyone else there, is counting down the days until Christmas. His schedule at school has been disrupted by preparing for the Christmas program. This is bad.
Additionally, I told them how idiotic it was for Nate to try and complete an unfinished assignment at recess. I thought “recess” meant the other kids were in the gym. No. All of the children from his class are in the classroom, goofing off, and Nate is sitting at his desk attempting to concentrate. NOW WHAT KIND OF HELL SENSE DOES THAT MAKE? I conveyed that to the principal with an incredulous look on my face.
You take a kid with ADHD and put them in a setting where they are sure to fail. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I also reminded her of the problem of not just the ADHD but the come-and-go nature of dysgraphia and how frustrating it must be for him to be perfectly capable one day and completely struggle the next, not to mention the energy it takes for Nate to overcome it. Both ADHD and dysgraphia cause problems with self-starting and sequencing. Although it may appear easy to us to start at the top of the page at number one, that is not so easy for Nate.
It definitely isn’t easy for him to write something off the top of his head. His brain has difficulties with the type of reasoning it takes to form a thought and supporting thoughts. He doesn’t know where to start. Imagine having an idea and not knowing where to start. Then imagine someone standing over top of you wanting you to produce, you know you’re going to get in trouble if you don’t, but you can’t form the thoughts needed to produce.
Nate is a very poor communicator. He already knows he’s different. He doesn’t want to look different to his classmates so he stays silent, which I’ve been working with him on. He doesn’t just need a prompt to stay on task, he also needs a prompt to help form and convey thoughts. I ask him, “Who, what, when, where, how, and why? Answer one of those questions and you have a start. If you’re having trouble, ask your teacher, that’s what she’s there for.”
Jeff is going to be observing the classroom. He’s first on the call list now. He and I can talk to him and help him, even remotely. He called me at work one day when he was having trouble and I asked specifically what the problem was and then helped him with brainstorming and getting started. He went on to have a good day. I pointed all of this out to the principal, more so than the teacher because she had to teach after the first ½ hour.
Further, as far as Nate being rude and cranky, sounds to me like he’s not the only kid in the school being rude and cranky. I’m there at least three days a week. I see kids pushing, shoving, yelling, running, jumping and basically being little hellions. They said, “This is a change for him.” Maybe he’s tired of being run over by everyone else!!
Regardless, the school knows we’re going to be there. They know we’re not backing down from the modifications. One problem is that Jeff and I have seen none of the rude, defiant, hateful demeanor they’re referring to. Nate’s not perfect and he’s had trouble listening some this week, but he’s not been rude or defiant. I’ve seen him far, far worse. We don’t allow Nate to run over us, nor do I allow him to back talk, although it’s a constant struggle with him because he questions everything and he’s learning when its appropriate to question for knowledge versus just questioning to delay.
As a matter of fact, I have had less trouble with him doing his homework this week than any other week. He’s seemed happy to be working on it and completing it and all I did was get him started. But he is also a child. A nine year old little boy learning more and more everyday, growing in body and mind and he will push boundaries until he’s satisfied as to where they are. I think sometimes it gets overlooked that he’s still a kid.
There was so much more but lucky for you, I’ll just hit the high points. It helps me figure it out and document it writing it out like this. So, thanks if you’ve made it this far.
UPDATE AGAIN
As I dig deeper and deeper, I find more things I’m concerned about.
For example:
I was looking over Nate’s Social Studies notebook this morning. After a certain section, the teacher takes it and grades it. His grades listed were (paraphrasing and I don’t remember them all): Climate and Vegetation 0/10, Vegetation and the States 0/10, Longitude and Latitude 0/10…. I didn’t recall any of those assignments being sent home to be completed so I leafed back through the notebook.
Two pages back was the Climate and Vegetation page marked 10/10. The next page back was Vegetation and the States marked 10/10. (I did remember him doing those after I saw them.) I didn’t go any further. Then I looked back to the graded page just to make sure what was written down. I read it right the first time. So, she graded his work as 10/10 on the page but when she figured his score she put 0/10. At least a full 20 points. That’s the difference between an E and a C. THAT’S A BIG DEAL!
I pointed it out to Nate and asked if I was maybe missing something. He shrugged and said, “That’s just wrong, Mom. That’s just wrong.” I told him that his dad and I would talk to her about it and he was not to say anything.
I know its wrong and I hate to sound paranoid, but I have to wonder what else she’s “mis-graded.” Is she sabotaging Nate’s work to justify not doing the 504 plan? What about the other papers he brings home that aren’t graded? Is he getting credit for those? Jeff feels as though she’s doing it purposefully and I’m not above wondering it myself, but I also realize that people make mistakes, but that’s an awful big mistake for a little guy who needs to see better grades for the work he does, not a fat E staring at him. What kind of encouragement is THAT?
Further, Nate was featured on the News Show they have. For being on the news show, he got to pick a prize out of a prize bucket. He chose a little stamp that you can put on paper or, in our case, everyone’s hand, including his own (It’s a smiley face wearing a hat). He showed me the stamp again last night. He said, “Yeah, the teacher said (insert smart ass voice) that’s considered a tattoo, if you have it tomorrow, you’re OUT OF HERE!”
Now, peeps, I’m telling you right now, THAT’S BULLSHIT! Its washable. Wouldn’t the better thing be to remind him that things like that aren’t allowed and could he please wash his hands and only use it on paper? What was the point in her threatening him over a less than one inch stamp on his hand? (And did you catch where the stamp came from to start with? IT CAME FROM THE SCHOOL! This was not something we bought him or gave him to take to school.)
I’m still attempting to keep my cool. To write things down, to ask for explanations before jumping to conclusions, but I’ve just about had it.
Anything Goes 