Today, my friend Kevin has been dead two years. I’m finally at peace with what happened and I know that he is watching over me.
Day before yesterday, I was talking to our new evening pantry cook, Jace. He started about two months ago and we always passed on my way out and his way in. He works exclusively nights and I work almost exclusively days. He has another full-time job which is why he works nights. I thought he was really cute, but figured he was too young for me. Well, I found out he was only 5 years younger. Hmmmm…
Friday I worked evening shift and he made the remark that he really didn’t get to go out much and I said, “Yeah, me neither.” And then our conversation got swallowed up by other people hitting the smoke hole before shift started. Later, I was loitering around pantry, due to the positive vibe from our earlier conversation, and he asked me out, which I accepted. We quietly agreed to meet after I got off work yesterday.
We met at a local food and watering hole, ate, drank, talked, and watched football. We then went to another, more quiet, watering hole and drank more and talked. Things were going really, really good. I told him about Kevin and laughed about the fact that Kevin always ate those convenience store burritos that were as big as his head. They were closing up so I asked if he wanted to take a trip to one of my fave places and drink more. He was game so, yes, we headed to The Point.
On the way there, we stopped at the last gas station before heading out onto the sparsley populated two lane highway and ran into a guy who asked if we knew of any bars in the general vicinity, within walking distance, as he was driving a big rig. Jace and I both knew of some bars but they were too far away to walk in the cold night. The driver thanked us, held up a beer and said, “Well, I’ll just kick back in the rig and have a beer and some food.” That food… a ginormous convenience store burrito. It even said, “X-XLarge” on the package. I smiled and pointed it out to Jace.
On the way to The Point, I asked Jace if he believed in signs and he said that sometimes he did and sometimes he didn’t and that you could pretty well turn anything into a “sign” if you wanted it to be. I agreed but I also pointed out that I hadn’t seen anyone with a convenience store burrito until tonight and it was right after I told Jace about Kevin. He agreed that it was something to think about. We talked every moment of the 45 minute drive to The Point and I saw another sign… a shooting star.
Double Ds is the local dive/karaoke bar in that area, one that you can still smoke in. Jace used to sing in some bands so he took a stab at the karaoke and the owner wants him to take part in the karaoke contest next weekend. He’s hot and he’s a great singer, okay? Then the DJ played “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry and we had a great time singing that together, as well as the Kid Rock song, “So Hott.” I guess that goes to show that Jace and I… well, we’re birds of a feather when it comes to music.
We left around closing and took a short walk around town to see the Mothman statue, the waterfront, and the obelisk at Tu-Endie-We State Park. We got some kissing in as well. It was well close to 4 a.m. by the time we stopped by my house for a potty break before I took him back to his car. However, more kissing ensued and more kissing and finally, after 18 long months, I finally christened my queen size bed. Eight hours, very little sleep, and a trip to IHOP later, I finally dropped him off at his car.
He admitted at some point that he had thought of cancelling our date because we work together and he knows how that can go sometimes. I’m really glad he didn’t though. I’m also really hopeful that he doesn’t flake out on me, which could still happen, and sometimes does happen even though you have a great time together and we have a lot in common and some things not so much in common, which is a good thing. I laughed and smiled so much my face hurt.
For a date that lasted over 16 hours, I still wasn’t ready for it to be over. He didn’t seem to be in any hurry either. I’m not sure what’s going to happen but it sure is nice to know that I can still click with someone.
As for Kevin, I love you my friend and thanks for letting me know you’re still with me. I miss you.
At night I go to sleep and pray he is watching over me,
Somewhere there’s a sun that’s shining so bright that I can see you smile and all that I need is one last chance just to hear you say good-bye.
And if you have a dream, you better hang on for dear life. And when that cold wind blows just let it pass you by.
Selected lyrics from “Things My Father Said” by Black Stone Cherry.
Did you notice the latest in my beading ventures from the NOLA pics?
Yes, well, I had to have something to represent! I tried making an Alice in Chains necklace but I just didn’t have the time nor the beads that I needed to do it right. I thought the camo “Boggy Depot” worked just fine, especially considering it was the CD cover I had. That’s hornpipe soaked in coffee for the antique look. Yes, I rock.
The ornament I’m making is the same color scheme, only with white beads instead of cream. Not that you can tell in that photo. It is exactly like this
except the gold is white and the brown is green and the cream is the same brown that’s in this picture, and the black is the same. Okay, I didn’t realize that until just now. Oh, well.
Work was slow today. I started my period. Its still raining. Its Hump Day. I need to shave under my arms. Ummmm… oh, I have a new picture of Jack. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of pictures that I haven’t shown you. So, let’s have a pictorial.
Here’s my friend Mr. Cicada. He thought it would be cool to hang out on the railing of my porch.
Nate likes to holler for me when he’s in the shower and then pokes his head out. One day, I caught him with the camera.
Even though Troy and I have known each other for quite a while, we had not one picture of us together. So, the first picture…
Here’s the place I should have gone to work…
I wanted to do a pictorial of the shop but it seemed kinda boring. So, be bored.
The thermometer at 9 a.m.
Why I wear my hair up…
And while I’m at the end of the 300* dryer, and Rich and Nick (whose photo won’t load) are at the front, Bob is busy getting his tan on…
Okay, wasn’t that fascinating??? I knew you’d think so, that’s why I posted it so many months ago when I worked at the shop. Next.
Here’s a pic I took from my living room at the apartment on Easter Sunday…
I went to visit Mom and Dad this summer and took some pics…
Its a flower…
and a field…
and a rock…
and a big tree…
and another field. You can see the top of the farmhouse’s red roof.
And because my Momma loves me, my new quilt…
And a close up…
Yes, she did all of of that by hand. We’re from the country people!
Oh yeah, and here’s Jack. I call this his “Dirty Ole Man” picture.
And Jack and Nate…
And here I am on my porch. Notice the red dot in the center of my chin and some on my cheek. Yeah, I burned myself when I was cooking. Hurt like a bitch. The sun was bright that day.
Okay, okay, Cybele wants the chicken pic…
This is Herman, the rooster who owns my parents, and a couple of their moo cows…
Well, guess that was worth waiting a few months for. Happy Hump Day.
Well, I survived my first day on the job. I haven’t dropped anything, yet. I love my co-workers. Everyone was very helpful and I trained with a great guy. The food looks delish. Still learning so I’m worn out. My muscles started quivering there for a minute but my nerves were also almost completely shot. And yes, my shoulders are aching. But, I really enjoyed it.
We have family meal every morning at 10 and every afternoon at 4:30 or so. If you work morning shift, the kitchen crew fixes everyone breakfast. If you work evening shift, the kitchen crew fixes everyone supper. On Fridays, the wait staff fix breakfast and supper for the kitchen crew. If you work a double, you get fed twice. This morning we had Southwest scrambled eggs, buttermilk pancakes, and bacon. IT FUCKING ROCKED because ya’ll know, I LOVE FOOD!
I’m watching a thunderstorm roll in on radar and I can hear it also, plus, it’s getting pretty dark. I’m about ready for a nap. I didn’t fall asleep until after 11:30 and I was awake well before the alarm went off. Nerves, I tell ya. We did have a bit of excitement today as an attorney, who is a regular, got upset with some guys that he said parked in a parking spot designated as handicapped. The men disputed this and the attorney called the police. The men left the table to wait on the police and we ended up comping their lunches except for the beer, even though they were eventually able to eat.
Practically everyone I know around here is having some kind of employment crisis. Steve and Lex were both canned from their jobs as DJs because of a format change. T-Bird’s old man lost his job. Of course, the shop is slow so the guys are struggling to get 40 hours. I’m extremely fortunate to have this job and I hope that I catch on quickly.
I got Steve’s wedding invitation in the mail today. I absolutely refuse to go to this shindig by myself. Refuse. Refuse. Refuse.
This brings me to Officer D. He didn’t return my call, however, I’m not even sure he got the message. Looks like I’ll be hanging out at The Point this weekend.
That’s all from this end. Hope you all had a Happy Tuesday.
That’s the opening song from Black Stone Cherry’s CD. Its based on local folklore that rain wizards would bring rain during times of drought and lived in caves in the area of KY where they are from. On a home movie made by them, it actually shows them taking the crew to one of the caves and while they are exploring this area it starts to rain. Knarly, huh?
I’m ready to blast this song from my rooftop. 100* today and we haven’t had any substantial rain for weeks, maybe months. We had a slight thunderstorm the other evening but it maybe rained for three minutes. I know WV isn’t suffering like GA and other southern states and I can’t imagine what they’re experiencing. The grass is just dead. Gardens are wilted. The heat in WV for this time of year is at least 20* above normal.
The shop is stupid hot. Stupid. Hot. I had to do touch-ups on three cases of shirts today. Ink is thick and doesn’t have the same properties as watercolors or oils; it doesn’t spread well. Using a paintbrush, even a small one, hasn’t been very fruitful in the past. Once Steve told us we would have to do the touch-ups and me specifically since I pulled from the dryer, I told Rich he needed to find the scalpel we use to cut vellum. No way I was attempting this touch-up with something no better than a mop.
Using the straight edge and the fine tip of the scalpel made the touch-up a breeze and it looked great. I. Rock. Thank you.
I found a biblical verse in a shop that carries a lot of primitive type furniture reproductions. I really wanted to get it because it said, “Rejoice evermore, pray continually.” That is a version of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17. I prefer, “Rejoice evermore, pray without ceasing,” which I guess is the older version. A family story handed down via my mother was that my maternal-paternal-great-grandmother (meaning the mother of my mother’s father), did just that, prayed without ceasing.
If she were sewing or baking or doing anything or than speaking to another person, she prayed, without ceasing. Can you imagine? No singing to the radio, talking to yourself, no cussing people in traffic, you pray, without ceasing. Try it for an hour, hell, try it for half of an hour and see how far you get. Anyway, maybe I’ll make a beaded version.
I’ve been really into the family history thing lately after sending a friend an essay I wrote about my family and Jesse James. It got me all interested in my family history again. I want to take Nate down to Breaks Interstate Park (VA) so we can visit Potter Flats, Potter’s Knoll, and Belcher, KY. I hope to compile a listing of family stories for our next family reunion. That would be cool.
Speaking of cool, ya’ll stay that way. I’m going to go hug my air conditioner now.
That’s not progress is it? Here’s some progress…
This is where the floor furnace used to be… remember that?
Because I don’t have that fire hazard anymore, I had to get me some new heatin’ and coolin’…
and more progress…
and because I really want Jeanette to visit me some day, I finally got a toilet…
and remember the brush beside the tracks burning?
And, I kissed my washer when it was delivered. See, 17 cycles…
I didn’t kiss my dryer, but still was happy to see it and its 8 cycles…
I can’t use them yet, but just glad to know it won’t be long.
We went out on Bob’s boat for lunch today. It was beautiful, 85 degrees, nice breeze, water, joking, friends, a tan, the only thing missing was a cold beer. And I got my washer… don’t forget the washer.
And for (not so) Tinyhands… BSC! BSC! BSC!
I’ve been a little busy.
The little league I’m working with on getting all of their uniforms keeps adding more items, a day apart, which means, more shipping charges. I told the coordinator after the 3rd time that I was going to have to start charging shipping on all items after the first two orders. I just finished taking the 6th order, or was it the 7th????
Speaking of the shop, I have to e-mail a photo to a client.
I start a new contract job tomorrow. It comes at good time because I’m about flat broke. I’ll be working on another class action where I actually get to send people money. What a great feeling. It will only be for a few weeks but may keep me out of the poorhouse.
Nate is going on his first long class trip on Thursday. They’re going to the Carnegie Science Museum in Pittsburgh and then to a Pirates game. Whoo hoo…. other than he has to be on the bus by 5:30 a.m. Argh.
Still trying to get a more part-time deal with my writing job and still working on my magazine idea.
They started putting the heating and cooling in my house today. And, lo and behold, they had a full crew working on my house as well. One who actually knew what he was doing besides Ron. And one of the guys putting in the heating and cooling was this green-eyed cutie that I’m sure I could teach a few things. He looked like he was 18, which is old enough for me. The creepy guy was there too, the one who tried to railroad me on the heating and cooling. I got a much better deal with the folks I went with, plus the owner is hawt, not creepy, hawt, and rides a Harley. Yum.
T-Bird’s nephew’s grandfather passed away so I ran down to watch the other nephew and her son while she paid her respects. J3 went to a ballgame and I put the littlest one in the bathtub, which he hated, put a diaper on him, gave him his binky/bippy/pacifier and a sippy cup of water, he cried for 2 seconds and fell asleep. If only Nate had been so easy.
Trying to get an order ready for Tamarack.
Trying to scrounch together the money to go to Rock on the Range in Columbus on May 19th. I had tickets, then sold the tickets because of a really stupid reason and then decided, I’m going. I need to see my guys from Black Stone Cherry, although I’m sure we won’t get to hang out much because of all the bands and security, but my friends Kim and Matt will also be there and I need to be there too. I’ve missed 3 BSC shows since this fire and I’m tired of it.
Nate and I will go up to my parents’ place and go metal hunting on the farm. They have a lot of old pipes and fittings due to old gas lines and that metal is worth a lot! I NEED THE MONEY! I knew Nate’s metal detector would pay for itself one way or another. Plus, Jeff’s brother, who lives in GA, is coming up here to get hay for his horses. Because of the drought and fires in GA, he can’t find any. I also coordinated the purchase and transport of said 20 bales of hay between me, Jeff, his brother, and my dad.
This is why I haven’t blogged in a while and why I haven’t been by your place.
I’m tired ya’ll.
I can always count on the guys at the shop to simultaneously gross me out and entertain me to the point of peeing on myself. Like today.
I have been ass deep in MLB replica t-shirts for a local little league to the point the guys wander back on occasion and make sure I haven’t had an avalache and am buried alive. Today I spent a lot of time in front of the 200 degree dryer, pulling shirts, counting shirts, folding shirts, and otherwise getting my exercise. I used this as an excuse to eat
five ten freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
Working with four men, you can imagine the shop talk can get quite raunchy at times and today was no exception. It started when Rich came out of the back room and said we needed to order seven additional extra-large pussy pink t-shirts for Patricia’s Pussy. The t-shirts are actually azalea (a totally pussy pink color) and the order was for Patricia’s Posse…
This degraded further into how the guys didn’t want extra large they wanted smalls, which degraded further into the size of pussies and exactly how far a pussy can stretch, then degraded further into fisting and the ability to actually clap en pussio, further degrading into Junior talking about tying a two by four to his ass so he doesn’t fall in, degreading further into vivid descriptions, but thankfully no reinactments, of a grotesque pornograhic scene where a pussy does in fact, swallow a man’s head… and not the one between his legs.
I laughed so hard I didn’t know whether I should cry or pee myself. Rich, who was especially descriptive with the grotesque pornagraphic scene, said, “It’s a good thing you don’t act like other girls.” I guess so. Then talk degraded into whether or not nudist camps were really a good idea and I mentioned that there was one in our state and I’d love to go up there to get a tan. Not that I want to mow my grass in the nude or anything but I would definitely like to take advantage of a clothing free society for the chance at not having tan lines.
The conversation ended with a discussion as to the shop dress code and the guys said they would not complain to the management if I chose to work topless during the hot summer months.
Oh yeah, here’s some earrings I made…
and this is an embroidered amulet. It isn’t finished yet… but here’s what I have so far.
And another view…
So, I had to park myself up Steve’s ass today in order to get something accomplished. I told him I was having a bad day and then he said he was having a bad day and I said my day was worse and then he said his day was worse and then I said my day was worse and he said, “We’ll flip a coin.”
He was sweet because he knows he’s on my shit list and he’s on my shit list because I’ve tried for a week to get him to finish these forms I needed to order some shirts… 147 shirts that need printed and then they need numbers put on them which takes like, for-evah, and we’ll have like 3 days to do 10 days work and we have over 3700 other shirts due within the next 10 days.
Then I have this bet with the shop guys that I’ll be able to “pull ink” by the time Black Stone Cherry plays the Kentucky State Fair in August. Pulling ink requires a lot of upper body strength, which I sort of lack in. However, I’m determined to print a new design to show the BSC guys in Louisville.
Steve has money riding on me. I plan on winning and taking the money, although its not really about the money. Its about
street ink cred. Plus, I need to build some muscle.
Did I tell ya’ll I’ve lost 12 pounds since the fire? I can’t remember. Anyway, it was a great start to returning to my fighting weight, which is another 12 lbs. down the road. Everyone in the shop stores winter fat, knowing the famine will come in summer.
Kevin used to go to the 7-11 and buy these ginormous burritos. Good Lord and Lady they were as big as his head and probably full of the nastiest substances known to man, drank a lot a beer, had a lot of the munchies (if you get my drift) and he still complained he had lost too much weight.
He would have been 40 on March 24th. He was the first one I pulled ink with, pulled shirts with, pulled from the dryer with, burned screens with, washed screens with, yelled at, yelled with, sweated, laughed, drank, ate, cussed… I miss him.
So, I’ll win the bet and be totally buff by August.
I win, i win, I win!
I had a post about Cybele and wands written, and I also have a post about old nemesises written but, now that’s news that will have to wait. Sort of.
One of my former bosses was killed last week. He was on the interstate and was struck by an 18 wheeler after attempting to run across the road. Then he was struck by another 18 wheeler. Not pretty. I had written about him before a long time ago in other posts but I’m too lazy to find them right now.
I knew he had been having some problems of late but found out today that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Which, is just incredibly sad. Being at his memorial service today was a stark reminder of how far the gang has come since Kevin’s suicide. I recognized the same numbness, grief, and shock that we must have carried with us.
I spoke to my former boss’s dad, who remembered who I was even though I had not worked for his son for 7 years. He told me how highly his son had spoke of me and how much he depended on me as his paralegal. I can’t get into it right now, but that was… bittersweet.
And all this after staying up with Nate last night for his sleep deprived EEG to check his seizure activity. Now, after a long nap late this afternoon (4-8:30), I was just tossing and turning around in my bed and decided to write.
And because my life is so boring and I have nothing else to do and I’m, you know, independently wealthy, I’ve decided to start my own newspaper. I’ve been kicking around the idea for a long time and after being passed over for a full-time writing position without even so much as an interview or writing clips to diss, I’m going ahead with my idea. I figure the best revenge is to build my own newspaper and then let the bastards buy me out, if ever I choose to be bought out.
As Bon Jovi says, “Luck ain’t even lucky, got to make your own breaks.”
After tossing around in the bed for a while I realized there was another warm body down there. Yep, ole Macy Mae has become a bed kitty.
Nate is tormenting his father for the night. Thank the Lord and Lady.
They started laying the new floors today after much ado about nothing, a wasted trip to my house, and 7 phone calls. This is what happens when someone other than Ron handles the arrangements. See, had it been Ron there would have been one phone call that went something like this….
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good. Look, instead of the natural finish, I think you should go with the medium brown. It’s going to match your trim better.”
“Oh, okay. Whatever is going to look best.”
Instead, it was 7 phone calls between four people. And a wasted trip. When I had had 2 hours sleep in the last 36. And gas is butt fucking expensive. And I have other shit to do, like sleep and attend memorial services and harass Steve about getting paperwork in so I can do my job. Gah.
Okay, I need to write up a flyer for my newspaper and figure out all kinds of accounting stuff that I know nothing about. I hope to be around to visit you all very soon.
Was not such a good day. Having my period and dealing with all of this crap is a lethal combination. Not only do I have PMS but also PFS, or Post Fire Syndrome. They sprayed fungicide on the sub-flooring today. However, my cabinets are still sitting in boxes in the living room. I have no toilet, or stove, or refrigerator, yet, oh yeah, or floors. Essentially, I still have nothing because I have no where to put anything and I’ll be damned if I’m moving everything twice. It was hard enough to move Nate’s new chest. I missed out on a great sale on mattresses. I’m still wondering whether I should get a full-size bed or stick with my Queen sized bed.
I asked Cook today if he had an idea when I could move in and he just shook his head. It was just Cook today and no one else. Nathan is on vacation and they keep pulling Ron, Bob, and Jimmy to work on other things. Most of the inside walls still need a second coat of paint, none of the plumbing is done, I still don’t know how much I can spend on a stove, I’m supposed to be taking a short trip the 3rd weekend of this month and I’m not sure how I’m going to do that, although I really need to. I need to get away from here and be spoiled for a weekend.
I’m frustrated with my writing job. I had an inside opportunity to write an article about our new NASCAR driver, backstage access, photos, etc. etc. Our newspaper just didn’t seem interested. Then, I heard that a full-time position came open for the entertainment magazine. I was supposed to be interviewed for that and never was. Which leads me to believe they are all going to be very sorry when I start my own magazine and then have to buy me out for millions of dollars. Fuckers.
They also screwed me on my check. They can’t seem to get it right so far this year and I talked to my boss today as it appeared, oops, they lost the accounting of all the work I had done for the month of March, which pays over half of my mortgage. Given the fact just yesterday I shat down the neck of yet another incompetent city worker, I was quite nice although I had every right not to be, since this is the THIRD TIME they have screwed up my pay.
I told Matt, “I have no patience right now, especially with incompetence. None. I will advise that this is not the best time to irritate me because my mouth will open and the truth will come out.” Just like it did all over the incompetent city worker who didn’t have the brain cells to apply my deposit to my last bill so now the city owes me fucking money which I won’t get until some imbecile signs it at a City Council meeting later this month. I think I may have to show up in person to receive said check and simultaneously inform said council of that asshat called a building inspector and the incompetence and idiocy of the entire fucking city.
Especially since I have to turn right around and make another fucking deposit on my water bill to turn the fucking water back on!!! And you know what they do with those deposits don’t you? Yeah, they draw interest on those deposits, which means, they should credit me the interest as well, just like the electric and the gas company have. What do you want to bet that doesn’t happen.
Yes, I really need drugs. I really need something to help take the edge off. Nate doesn’t realize it, but Maximum Strength Pamprin and Icehouse saved his life this week, especially since he broke my wand. Yes, broke my wand, my oak wand, the wand that survived the fire. Broke, two pieces. I cried and he’s still living. Yes, thank our Lord and Lady for Pamprin and Icehouse. So mote it be.
I’ve lost 12 pounds since the fire. I’m on my way to my fighting weight of 122. Just 10 lbs. to go or so. I have a bet with the guys at the shop that I’ll be able to pull ink by the end of summer. “Pulling ink” means to manually apply ink to the shirts through the screen with a squeegee versus using the automatic to do it for you. It takes a lot of upper body strength and in that regard I’m a wimp, so, I’ll be working all of my arm, shoulder, and back muscles in anticipation of the big event at the end of August. I’ll also have to stand on a box to do it because I’m too short to do it otherwise.
I have a second design for Black Stone Cherry shirts and I told Rich I was printing them myself. Speaking of my guys, they are off in Europe and I miss them. I also miss Europe. I have needed to send them a package for a while, just like I need to send Vince a package, and Hoss. I found an Elvis album at the antique market which I picked up for Ben and I have been meaning to send Jon a copy of the Jubal Kane CD since January. See, ya’ll aren’t the only ones waiting.
I’m also making something very special for my guys in BSC. They will totally rock when I’m done… if I can ever get started.
My car looks like a dumpster. I had Ron and Cook fix the floors in the attic so we could move the crap from up there that was in Nate’s room back to the attic so they don’t have to keep moving it while they fix the floors. Nanner is smart. Now, I can also move shit from my car into the attic and move shit from here into the attic so I’m not stuck moving it all at once. Like Nate’s little nightstand thingy, the mirror, clothes, my new lamps, curtains, and other odds and ends.
T-Bird has a hernia and has to have surgery again. I’ll be going with her this time.
I have a huge order that has be done at the shop. I keep reminding Steve to give me the old order for another customer so I can quote a new order. Every time I mention it, he says, “Shit!” Meaning, “I forgot, again.”
Did I mention I’m blogging from my brand new laptop? This makes things much easier on my back since I don’t have a desk yet.
Can you tell after I got back to the apartment today I took a 5 hour nap? Yeah, Nate got to soak himself in Harry Potter on the laptop and watch Disney channel. Yes, he had his dinner.
And, because ya’ll love pictures…
I saw this today and thought of Jeanette and Tony.
Hermione, the cat who lived.
And Macy, the cat who can’t get her picture taken without looking like a demon.
Da Mommas and da Bubbas.
The Old Look
And the new look
And Nanner says, “Bye. Have a great weekend.”