Something For Everyone

March 25, 2007 at 11:12 pm (Nate, Shop, The House)

Let’s start with my frisky felines… Macy and Hermione.

When Macy joined the family, she hid under the couch.

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Then she decided being a lap kitty wasn’t so bad…

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But really, she prefers belly rubs…

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which Hermione finds hilarious….

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The house is coming along…

This is the kitchen during early rebuild…

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Kitchen with new walls and vinyl…

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Bathroom during early rebuild…

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Bathroom with vinyl (walls are there, just not real visible)

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I also have a new bathtub, vanity, and mirror (which was obviously placed by a certain tall someone who doesn’t realize what it’s like to be short… ahem!)

Then there’s some new stuff I’ve purchased…

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My Egyptian paintings…

and some new curtains…

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And then there’s the hailstorm for you natural disaster lovers….

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Oh, and the mirror, mirror on the wall… almost

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And Nate’s new chest…

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For you NASCAR fans…

Then, there’s always something going on at the shop, like NASCAR, like Stacy Compton’s new development driver from WEST VIRGINIA, Derek Kiser. Ya’ll say hi to Derek…

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We made Derek’s t-shirts. Here he is with Rich and Nick, oh, and Bob in the background.

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So, we all got to go to the big media announcement and get our pictures taken with Stacy and Derek and to see Derek’s #46 car.

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And, that is all.

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Stoner Steve Meets Violator Girl

November 28, 2006 at 10:18 pm (Attitude in Overdrive, Crazy Shit, Memories, Shop, T-Bird, Writing)

Stoner Steve began calling my cell phone at 2:16 p.m. on Sunday and 2:18 p.m. on Sunday. He left a message the first time.

He then called my cell phone again 45 minutes later. Left another message.

He then called my cell phone on Monday at around 3:30, left a message. Then again at 5:00, left a message, then again at 5:30.

I did not want to talk to him. I was busy each time with something else. On Sunday, I was with T-Bird, helping her with her two nephews (ages 2 and 10 months) and her son and my son (ages 7 and 10). Did I have time to talk? Did I feel like talking later? No.

Monday, by 2:00 p.m. my cell phone was dead. I mean DEAD. I mean took an hour to show that it was even charging dead because IT RANG THAT MUCH. Did I happen to mention with the holiday that I completely forgot two stories for my writing job? Yeah, I did. So, Monday, I had to play catch up PLUS four additional stories for this week with a day less to do it because I’m leaving for Vegas on Friday.

PLUS, a local promotional company has me on speed dial as their direct link to the shop and suddenly they need t-shirts and sweatshirts.

PLUS, T-Bird called because she is seriously considering trying to get custody of her nephews because her sister is an idiot and a piss poor excuse for a mother, which is all very emotional, and that’s why I was at her place for the entire day Sunday, which was to dry clothes and offer moral support and chase kids, spank kids, change kids, feed kids, rock kids, tell other kids to shut up because the baby is asleep, piss off kids grandmother, and otherwise, you know, enjoy life.

PLUS, I had to talk to Jeff about going out of town and whether or not Nate was going to the Christmas Parade with his aunt and cousin or if he’s going with T-Bird and J3 to the movies on Saturday and did he need T-Bird to help him with Nate on Monday since I will be getting in late and could he please continue to be positive about school and what we were going to do if Nate missed anymore classroom assignments and then he needed to talk to me about the letter he received from Danlel, Nate’s sister, and the demands she made etc. etc.

So, after seven e-mails, 27 phone calls, 115 documents (because, ya know, I still have to actually WORK at the job I go to everyday), it is finally 5:00 and I’m picking up Nate. At 5:30, I was untangling Yule lights BUT I picked up the phone anyway, cuz, I’m nice like that.

With pissed off harsh tone “How many times have you called my cell phone in the past two days?” How’s that for direct? Bewildered “Ummmm… I … ummm… I don’t… ummmm… I don’t know.”“I do! Too fucking many! I will call you when I have a free minute to do so! Stop blowing up my fucking cell phone!”

“Ummmm… I’m sorry… I just felt bad because I broke our plans…”

“I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother and I hope she is okay.”

“I just wanted to call you because I was getting ready to go to work… ummmm….”

“Fine. Have a good evening.” *click*

Look, I seriously doubt that his grandmother was in the hospital and even if she was, if he’s too stupid or inconsiderate to call someone after a few hours then we are definitely not meant for each other, not that I think we were meant for each other to start with. Furthermore, I would have had more respect for him had he, when I rudely didn’t say “hi” or “hello” and instead bitched him out, hung up on me.

I’m thoroughly convinced, he’s either had a bad trip, a brain injury, or he really is just that dumb.

Did I mention that Nate and I hung up Yule lights outside last night? Yeah, they look like snowflakes having seizures. No shit. Then we had a picnic on the porch to celebrate.

Now, my son needs to finish his homework, he could probably use a shower, I need to visit some blogs, and, yeah, I need to make a phone call.

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Protected: I Actually Had A Birthday Party!

November 26, 2006 at 9:14 pm (AZ, Memories, Shop)

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Protected: I’ll Get You My Pretty…

November 22, 2006 at 10:02 pm (AZ, Beading, Shop)

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Protected: The Puking of Emotion

November 19, 2006 at 3:08 am (Attitude in Overdrive, AZ, Memories, Shop)

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Protected: The Red Bead – Part II

November 16, 2006 at 7:34 pm (AZ, Beading, Crazy Shit, Memories, Shop)

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Protected: The Red Bead

November 15, 2006 at 10:19 pm (AZ, Memories, Shop)

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Protected: Picking Up The Pieces On Autopilot

November 14, 2006 at 7:29 pm (Memories, Shop)

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Somebody Took My Angel

November 13, 2006 at 12:06 am (AZ, Black Stone Cherry, Crazy Shit, Shop)

Kevin’s services are back-to-back tomorrow, starting at 11, ending at 1 with the funeral. I try to remember that it won’t really be Kevin in the casket. The essence that inhabited that body and made him “Kevin” and no one else, has crossed over. I guess that’s a good theory but we all know different. I know no one else on Earth with that same smile, that same walk, the same mannerisms, the same laugh. So, yeah, that’s really a crock of shit.

I downloaded Black Stone Cherry’s EP, “Hell and High Water,” which has “Hell and High Water,” and two other unreleased songs on it, “Big City Lights” and “We Are the Kings.”

Listening this morning, before I started writing this, “Big City Lights” made me start crying.

“Big City Lights don’t shine for me no more.

You know somebody took my angel

and now she’s gone for sure.

She saved somebody else but couldn’t save herself,

Big City Lights don’t shine for me no more.”

Its a bluesy rock song, my favorite and it’s sad and worth a download over at iTunes or Rhapsody, and it fits my feelings right now. “Hell and High Water” just reminds me, again, that it’s okay to be there for people but let them be there for you too.

Among family, I’ve experienced this same kind of grief, especially when my grandparents crossed over. But it reminds me of when our band director in high school crossed suddenly from a heart attack. Its the same kind of shock to see him on Friday telling us all he’d see us on Monday and then dying over the weekend. When Markie’s husband died of a heart attack, when Marvin was killed in a car accident, when Jaimie was killed in a car accident. Sudden. It doesn’t get any easier.

Obituaries are really useless.

I’m totally not with it today. Not since seeing the obituary. Nate and I went to run errands. I turned left on a red light. Yeah. Turned LEFT, I just wasn’t thinking. Then, I almost locked the keys in the car. I’m just not thinking straight. That useless obituary just flipped me over again. I just lit a cigarette with one already burning in the ashtray.

At least the others, there was a reason. A reason.

I still want to talk to Kevin. I still think when I walk into the shop that he’s going to be there, wiping his hands on a rag, drinking a Bud Light, cracking jokes, acting goofy, pulling ink, running the press, burning the screens, lining up the screens, reviewing artwork with a cigarette between his fingers, complaining about kidney stones in his pecker, eating Ramen noodles and burritos as big as his head, the horribly faded black t-shirt he wore all the time, his ballcap, his smile, his laugh.

How could this happen? How could he stand there with Ramen noodles hanging out his mouth like worms, cutting up, making all us laugh, and then just… not be here anymore?

And life goes on. Laundry to do. Calls to make. Beadwork to finish. Pictures to take. Articles to write. A life to pull back together. Just, so hard today.

******

I’ve talked to Bob, Rich, and Stacey. We’re all making plans to be at the shop early because there is a 500 piece that has to go out. Stacey said Steve had mentioned NOT going to the services because of this order. We all said, “My ass.” Rich’s sister is coming too, so we’ll have full staff. Bob is recovering from back surgery so we’ll put him on the phones. I guess I haven’t mentioned that he’s no longer on painkillers and such and he’s back to being normal Bob. It has been a blessing.

Maybe Steve won’t go. Maybe he can’t handle it. I don’t know. People deal in different ways. I try to remember that and respect it but another part of me feels as though he just needs to be there.

Crazy shit has been happening all day, besides the ill advised left turn on red and almost locking my keys in my car. For one, I’ve been locking myself IN my car all day. I never lock my car doors when I’m inside, no matter how many times my Mom reminds me. Only on very rare occasions do I do that and I guess this has been a rare occasion day. The problem is, I don’t remember doing it.

I lost my debit card again. This is nothing new, trust me. Neither is losing my keys, but I’ve been doing so much better at it, it has been a shock not to find them by the door where I’ve conditioned myself to put them. Right now, I have no idea where they are. They may still be in the lock for all I know.

And then, there was the light. I was driving down a side street toward the gas station to pick up a pack of cigarettes for T-Bird when I saw a van in front of me stopped on the wrong side of the road, its taillights towards me. At the same time a huge red light appeared in my car and jumped from the back to the front, leaving a trail like a shooting star. If you’ve ever watched streetlights from the back window of a car, you’ll understand what I mean, except it was INSIDE the car. It all happened very fast, right before I passed the van and as I drove past it I looked in my side windows for the source but that’s when I felt the surge of electricity and thought I had been hit with a laser beam or something. Then it dawned on me that laser beams are not the size of a pack of cigarettes and could not have possibly made that type of arc inside the car.

I thought it was the taillights of the van but they were IN FRONT of me, not behind me and they were more like parking lights, not like they had the brake on so they weren’t as bright as this light was. I went on to the gas station and then I drove back down the street I had just come up on. The van was gone but I noticed the house either had Halloween lights up or early Christmas lights so I turned around and came back up exactly as I had before. I drove under streetlights, behind people stopping at stop signs, beside, behind, around and could not duplicate that odd light inside my car.

I’ve driven since I was 17 years old. In every weather condition imaginable, in darkness, in light, at dusk, at dawn, in the country, in the city, back seat, front seat, passenger seat, driver’s seat, intoxicated, and sober and I’ve never seen anything like it. Well, that’s not exactly true. I saw the light in my house once. It was like a roman candle spark hovering over the couch in the living room with the sparks pulsing out from it with no discernable source. Just like I knew that was my grandmother, I know that red light in my car was Kevin. The right side of my body still has an odd tingle. But, I’m odd anyway.

And everything has been red today. The red light I turned left on, and the car that almost hit us when I did, yeah, it was red. I found my red underwear. My lighter is red. The disk on my desk is red. The crossing bars came down in front of us and the lights are red. The cigarettes I picked up for T-Bird, Marlboro Mediums in a red box. There’s a big red bead in my pocket. The light inside my car was RED. Its been a very red day. *Sigh*

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Not Making Any Sense

November 10, 2006 at 12:18 am (AZ, Shop)

Thank you for all of your comments.  I really appreciate you all.

 I just got off the phone with Steve.  He’s asked me to do what I was going to do anyway and that is follow up with the police in the both the city and the county.  None of this makes any sense.  The shock is still here, with all of us, Steve, Rich, Bob, Stacey, and me. But once it started wearing off a little, we all stepped back and said, “Not Kevin.”

Maybe we’re all wishing with all our might that Kevin didn’t do this to himself, but in all our hearts, we are questioning whether Kevin’s ex-girlfriend, who had felony charges pending against her, her new boyfriend, a crackhead, and her son, had anything to do with this.

We, collectively, won’t rest until we’re 100% positive that Kevin did this to himself.  It just doesn’t make any sense.  It’s hard because Steve is out of town and he can’t talk to me and Bob and Stacey together, just piecing things together from the outside, but I know that Kevin asked me if I wanted to have some margartias with him this Friday after work and I told him I couldn’t because I had Nate but we could do it next Friday.  Who makes fucking plans like that and then three hours later walks away and doesn’t come home? 

That’s not Kevin. That’s not the Kevin I knew. That’s not the Kevin I left at the shop Wednesday evening, laughing and smiling and loving on me.  It doesn’t make any sense.

Kevin was a trip, over-dramatic, over the top, Kevin.  And he’s just going to quietly go into his backyard and kill himself?  WTF?  And where HIS MOM, his disabled mother that he lived with and helped take care of mere feet away, could have found him?  My ass. 

When Bob called me, when I heard his voice, I knew Kevin was dead.  The first fleeting thought was … he was murdered and then Bob said he had hung himself and that’s what I went with. But, I called back and I asked Bob, “Are they SURE?”  Bob said, “They found him in his own yard.” Like THAT makes a difference!  And then I tried to wrap my head around the fact that Kevin killed himself and then Stacey and I sat down, well, we hugged very tightly for a long time and then we sat down, and neither of us believe, at this point, that Kevin did this alone.

Steve doesn’t either.  Bob knows they threatened Kevin. Two police agencies are involved, one for the assault against Kevin by his ex and one for what happened today.  Tomorrow, it will be my job to make sure they hook up.  Maybe we’re all grasping at straws, anything to help us deal with this, but, it just doesn’t make any sense. 

I won’t rest until I know for sure.  Maybe in the coming days, weeks, or months, we’ll all have to accept that our friend made a terrible mistake, a terrible decision, and took his own life.  But for now, I won’t accept it.  Not until I know that bitch wasn’t involved.

Hell hath no fury like a broken-hearted Peach.

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