I stopped by to see The Date after I got off from work and sealed the deal, so to speak. It was enjoyable, physically, and I knew it was going to happen and he definitely wanted it to happen. And thereafter my mind clicked and whirled and moved on to thinking about my novella.
This is one of those things I’m still very blocked on and that is having feelings about guys and having lasting feelings about guys. If I had thought or known that things were going to be “more serious” I would have waited to have sex with him but I know it isn’t and it’s something I might as well get out of the way. I don’t truly believe that is the only thing he wanted out of me, but I know it’s where he is in his life right now that I was someone he desired and he probably wasn’t going to stop until I gave in or hurt his feelings.
I just had a desire for sex and he was available, and he had a desire for me and I made myself available. That’s about it. So, no progress, no romantic notions, no giggling, gushing… anything. *Click* *Whirl* *Next*
However, I did make a great deal of progress on my novella last night, even though after my romp I was actually sated and tired, physically, but my mind, she just never shuts up which creatively speaking can be a good thing. This is something I’ve only disclosed a few times but I make myself cry when I get to certain parts of my stories. I compose in my head all the time – mini-movies moving reel to reel and sometimes the emotion behind those reels is so overwhelming I just bawl.
I wrote the scene inspired by David Gray’s “Draw the Line.” The lyrics didn’t inspire so much for this scene as did the simple acoustic guitar line. The scene is so poignant. The lyrics to the song inspired another scene, which is so emotionally charged I forgot I was sitting on my couch, instead, I was in a wheat field during a thunderstorm. Rain, thunder, sleet, and hail battering me as much as the emotions, the violence from within.
I just wallow in it. I wallow in the world and emotions I create for my characters. Just like a little piggy, wallow, wallow, wallow. Just stretch out and soak in the mud, snorting and grunting on occasion, startling the flies with a flick of my ear. *Piggy grin*
Did I tell you I intend on having a soundtrack for my novella? Yep. Not of the songs that inspired it, but my own songs based on what I’ve written. Is that not neat? Plus, I know a lot of musicians… who’s to say I won’t just put the soundtrack and some spoken-word with it, like Viggo Mortensen did with his poetry book. Wallow, wallow, wallow.
And let me tell you what a great young man I have. He called me at work wanting to know what time I was getting off. Of course, I made a pit-stop but he called later to let me know he had gone to the local Dominoes and gotten us pizza and Cinnastix and in his own words, “I got you a pizza too, Mom, because you know I’ll eat a whole one, and I got you Cinnastix because I know how much you like them.” Then we watched Jeff Dunham and Bill Engvall.
*Smile* Wallow, wallow, wallow.