Why I have not blogged:
1. I am training to walk a marathon.
2. I’ve been working on my screenplay. In one day I created a wonderful character that I fell in love with and then killed him, of course because he asked me to, to serve as a catalyst for the protagonist. I cried for an hour.
3. Since Jeff dipped out of our lives permanently, for now, that is, I’ve been doing a lot of crying, whether I’m killing my favorite characters or not. His “leaving” is a catalyst for the protagonist and here, I’m the protagonist.
4. I’ve been watching TV with Nate. We hang out a lot. This reminds me of how precious he is so that I do not come unhinged over his abysmal grades.
5. Sometimes, I nap.
6. I’ve been observing my world like I’ve never seen it before.
He stood on the edge of the parking lot, white hair glistening in the Autumn sun. I wondered if long, dark grey, wool coats, stiff black suits, and crisp white shirts were the standard issue uniform for funeral home personnel. Alway so pristine, as though lint and cat hairs are afraid to bond to their clothing. I glanced around for a hearse and thought that he must be waiting to direct them, anyone, to the right entrance. Later, I saw him in the same place, hands clasped behind him, coat fluttering open in the breeze, enough to see the unwaivering tie and matching handkerchief. It was then I realized he was waiting for death, perhaps even calling to it.
7. I have been memorizing and singing all of the new songs by Alice In Chains. As always, their music is a soundtrack for my life. Some of my favorite lyrics:
A wolf alone upon the hillside
i live on what they thrown away
i go to sleep behind the eight ball
i live to fight for one more day
i’m trapped in the cold outside
there ain’t no shelter
they wanna force my hand
til i take what i wanted
and break all the lies
that they feed, the fucking liars
smash all the temples
and crawl through the rubble
and cry to the fallen (Last of My Kind)
No one plans to take the path that brings you lower
And here you stand before us all and say it’s over
It’s over (Your Decision) Beautiful, amazing song. Cathartic.
Pray, squeal when you’re caught
Cry, it’s not my fault (When The Sun Rose Again) Love the guitar on this song.
I don’t wanna feel no more
It’s easier to keep falling
Consciously avoiding changes
Curtain drawn, now it’s done
Silencing all tomorrows
Forcing our goodbyes
Lay down, black gives way to blue
Lay down, I’ll remember you (Black Gives Way to Blue)
Sir Elton John plays on this song. Simple and simply beautiful. A live video of this song, minus Sir Elton.
That’s about it. Just trying to get my ducks in a row. Oh, and I had to fix a couple lyrics. I just got my liner notes downloaded and got all of the RIGHT lyrics. Oh yeah.