August 24, 2009 at 8:51 am (Crazy Shit, Nate, Writing)

I read Alice Sebold’s “The Lovely Bones” yesterday. I woke up thinking about it this morning. It wasn’t a good feeling. I discovered I like things tied up in neat packages. There was so much unresolved injustice in it, but that’s life, and that’s a part of life that I don’t like.  Not to say that it wasn’t beautifully crafted, it was. It really was.

I’m not in a good place today and its been knawing at me for longer than a few days. I have a hearing this week, and I have only heard from Nate’s Guardian At Litem once, and he hasn’t returned any of my phone calls. I know this is something I really have no control over. I’ve done everything I can do… and now we whittle down to the final days and things aren’t done. It drives me nuts and I’m anxious.

The good news is, I lost an inch and a half from my waist. I don’t have scales but I promise myself I’ll get some. I keep telling myself that, but, my weight doesn’t matter to me as much as the size of my waistline. Diabetes runs so strong in my family and having a large waistline contributes to that. I found a great butter called Olivio. Its made with olive oil and it tastes great.

I’ve learned a lot about portion size, what has more fat, more sodium, I’ve bought new foods, developed my own amazing salads, and I’m trying to convert Nate to eating healthier as well.

Speaking of Nate, we had such a good day yesterday. I took him shopping for new shoes. I had to buy him size 11 in men’s for his ginormous foot. Skinny kid, long legs, big, big feet. He got a new vampire book, “The Chronicles of  Vladimir Tod 3 – Tenth Grade Bleeds.”  He was happy. We also got another book about “Twilight.”  He’s such a funny young man. I also got some more of his school supplies. We weren’t the only ones who waited until the last minute. The shopping center was packed!

I’ve also taken up yoga to help with my anxiety and for the health benefits. I really suck at it but I know I’ll get better as I get more flexible.  Trying to get to a good place. I try to concentrate on my son laughing as he says, imitating a cat from a YouTube video, with visuals, “I’m poopin’, I’m poopin’, oop, false alarm.”


  1. kenju said,

    The yoga and more healthy eating should do wonders for you – and Nate too. I hope the hearing goes well. Sorry the guardian ad litem hasn’t called you, but of course, he may be swamped.

  2. Vince said,

    I too have a history of diabetes in the family. Portion size is good, but you really need to look at the carb intake. My dietician basically laid it out for me, 45 grams carbs for breakfast, 60 grams each lunch and dinner. A morning snack of about 15 grams and evening snack of about the same. I actually eat about as much as I used to, but by watching the carb intake, I lost close to 40 pounds. Just my 2 cents.

    • Tina said,

      Congrats on the yoga and healthier eating! It will do wonders for you, both physically and mentally. 🙂 That’s what I hear anyway. 😉

      Good luck at the hearing! I will be sending many good thoughts and vibes. 🙂

  3. Inanna said,

    Kenju, he was out of the country… I spoke to him this afternoon.

    Vince, wow, I could not survive on 135 carbs a day. I average about a 160 and I probably could stand to add a bit. My job is so strenous at times that if I don’t have carbs then I don’t function. I use the RDA allowance and follow it on my-calorie-counter. com. I just try to find a good balance. I’m always over on protein and right now my calorie average is about 1500 which is a low estimate, but I should really be eating closer to 1800 given my work. Right now, I need a snack!!!

    Thanks Beanie, I’ll let you know what happens.

  4. Brighton said,

    Tried reading that book and really didn’t like it.

    Yoga- never quite got the hang of that one either.

    Eating Healthy- yeah…still working on that one too.

    You have done all you can, and you have done your best. It will show in the end.

  5. daydreambetty said,

    That is really good news about losing an inch from your waist! I can lose weight but it doesn’t seem to be making any difference on my waist at all! Although, a guy I dated said they kind of liked my little pot belly. Is that weird?

    And don’t give up on yoga, you’ll reap the benefits of it before long. Trust me.

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