Jumping Into the Deep End

August 16, 2009 at 1:27 pm (Attitude in Overdrive, Music, Nate, Work, Writing)

As you know, I’ve applied for a big uppity job with the Fed’ral Gubbermint. I’ve made the decision that even if they call, I’m going to decline the interview. I’m not going to be happy working in an office full-time. Not now, not ever.  I can be intellectual, wear pretty clothes and high heels when I’m not serving and bartending, which makes me happy. Being on the move makes me happy. Writing, making jewelry, dancing, and just even thinking about fiddle playing, makes me happy.

Life is just too fucking short and if the Mayans are right, I have just 3 more years to pursue all the things that make me happy.  The biggest thing that made me realize this was when I got my Social Security statement in the mail.

The year before the fire I made $40K. The year of the fire I made $12K. I still paid the mortgage, I still kept the utilities on (sans Internet at times, but that’s not a utility), a car on the road, my son, myself, and the cats fed and pretty well taken care of.  Although I would be remiss not to mention that I also received over $2600 in child support and I used some of my house money to keep us going, but still, its no where near the $35K and $40K I made the years leading into 2007.

Things are tight, I don’t always get to travel like I want, Nate isn’t sporting a new Wii (yet), I still have a crapton of outstanding medical bills and debt, but generally I’m happier. Serving and bartending isn’t always the greatest job in the world, but its better than sitting in an office. Its not even what I do as a job that is important as what I do with the free time I have, and, the energy and motivation to do it.

Sure, Restaurant Manager and I are going to clash, this is nothing new. Some of my co-workers are going to be greedy fucks that make me want to slap them around a bit. Some of my co-workers are going to whine, be lazy, and generally get on my nerves, but, you have that everywhere.

Yes, I need a new car and a new roof on my house. I’ll get there. Nate’s window needs fixed as does the shingle on my roof.  So, I just signed up for all the free car ads on The Free Car, which has a membership of $40 for 5 years. Car payment or $40 to possibly drive my own car and get money (towards a new car) or a new car to drive for 3-6 months or even 2 years? Its worth looking into. I see cars around here with the ads on their cars so I know its available.

Like I said before, I’ve been submitting some of my writings to the local paper and 38 is never too old to really grab life by the balls and do what I’ve always wanted instead of what everyone else wants.  There was an ad in the paper for a writer for the local legal journal. Even then, I’m not so sure I would be happy. So, for now, I’ll be where I am with a new attitude.

Oh, and the funny thing… I told Nate that I wanted to learn to play fiddle and he looked at me with his, “Ya gotta be kiddin’ me, Momma,” look and said, “Well, I hope you install a soundproof wall.” I reminded him that he could just turn up the sound on the iTunes while I closed the door to the bedroom. He said, “Well, just don’t come out until you sound like Charlie Daniels.”  Yeah, no pressure there!


  1. Jammie J said,

    Yep, it’s what you do in your off time that’s important. Even if that’s fiddlin’ around with a fiddle. 🙂

  2. Tina said,

    All I can say is…….just go for it! 🙂

  3. Vince said,

    I’m all for doing what makes you happy instead of doing what makes you money. I’ve been there and it sucks.

    I’m also very impressed in your ability to keep things going and keeping your priorities straight. Ellen works with a gal in a similar situation as you and complains about how poor she is and cant’ afford to do anything with her kid, but has money to buy alcohol, party all night with her friends, and go to concerts. Oh, and she doesn’t do a damn thing with her kid. So all told, I think you got your priorities straight.

    Good luck with the fiddle! I’m sure youi’ll be playing “Devil Went Down to Georgia” in no time!

  4. kenju said,

    Hopefully, one day you can make money doing what you love to do – even if that means playing the fiddle!!

  5. Brighton said,

    Do what you gotta do so that you can do what you want to do. That’s my motto and I’m sticking with it!

  6. Beth said,

    Oh, I’d love to hear you play the fiddle! I think that’s a fun instrument to play, so good luck with your lessons!

    Whether you’re 38, 48 or even 68, it’s never too late to take control of your life. What’s important is that you realize that you have to take control and then do it.

  7. Seamus said,

    It’s important to do what you love, whether or not the money follows is open for debate! 😉

    Daniels or, perhaps, Vassar Clements! Need a roadie? 🙂

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