A Couple of Redeemers

July 3, 2009 at 9:05 pm (Crazy Shit, Friends, Memories, Nate, Relationships)

Have you ever been in a situation where someone has told you something and finished with, “I thought you should know.”?  Yeah, that’s where I found myself today.

Its one of those situations that is rather upsetting and I know that it was kept from me with the best of intentions, so as not to upset me or even embarass me. However, I would have rather known sooner than later that Jace has been exhibiting unsavory behaviors in his new position at a location other than mine, which he went to right after he dropped out of my life.

I had long suspected that the reason for him dropping out of my life was to pursue those more nubile, and you may read into that, more stupid, more needy, and less worldly than myself, in his new position. However, those pursuits have turned to harassment. Such a no-no. What a schmuck. His schmuckish behavior is guaranteed to earn him a permanent disownment from our restaurant family.

Being told of this situation has caused a wealth of emotions to rise.  Disgust, disappointment, and my general indifference has given way to loathing. I also threw my hands in the air and wondered, “WHY AM I SUCH A SCHMUCK MAGNET???”  Especially considering I have a tendency to attract schmucks, I thought I had been doing a better job of weeding them out and yet another creeps through the cracks.

Its a damn good thing he dropped out of my life when he did because if I were still dating him, it wouldn’t be pretty AT ALL. As it is, I want to knock him out.

Anyway, I was lamenting my schmuck magnet status to Nate on the ride home and he was kind enough to tick off my ex-boyfriends, starting with his father, who Nate calls the Biggest Schmuck of Them All and worked his way past Ex-Drunk Boyfriend – who’s doing 70 years on a rape/attempted murder charge, then I brought up Lex, who Nate didn’t even know I was seeing, then or now, who really isn’t so much a schmuck as he is just … more strange than even I can tolerate, and a couple of other alcoholics that came and went as fast as they came.

Then Nate said, “Oh yeah, and Mike.”  Finally! Redemption! On a much grander scale than Lex. Whoo hoo!  Nate said, “Mike was cooool.” I agreed and added that our relationship didn’t end because he was a schmuck, it ended because we lived too far apart and, frankly, we just weren’t made for each other. Not that he isn’t a great guy, because he is, and probably THE greatest guy I’ve ever dated so far, but he just wasn’t the guy for me, nor was I the girl for him.  He married her last year.

I remember the first time I heard through the Blogger Gossip Network that he was dating his fair Adelphia and I went over to her blog. I knew within a minute of reading that she was The One. I sent him an e-mail and told him to just give it up and ask her to marry him because… SHE WAS THE ONE!  It made him pretty sour with me at the time. I understood why. You know, everything’s going great and you’re really into them but at the same time you’re afraid and you don’t want to get your hopes up.

And yes, I smiled with genuine warmth, and then grinned with a smug satisfaction when they announced their engagement that … I WAS RIGHT!  And, if you’re followers of their blogs, then you and I both know that these two people are right where they should be.

At one point, I had written about another of my ex’s, probably Lex, as he, like Mike, is the only one with redeeming qualities. Mike had mentioned that he wondered, eventually, how he would be remembered and he hoped I would be as kind to him as I was to Lex. I told him it quite possibly could take a while and it has.

Mike is the best reminder that there are still kind, caring, intelligent, passionate, witty guys out there. And also a good reminder that I haven’t just dated schmucks.

Mazel Tov!

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The Hunted Become the Hunters

July 2, 2009 at 11:52 am (Attitude in Overdrive, Crazy Shit, Nate)

That’s what Nate said last night as we chilled out in my car parked in front of my house on surveillance. It really wasn’t what I intended to do, it just sort of happened.

What started it all was that I had run out of cigarettes and Nate informed me that, yet again, he was hungry. I decided to combine a trip to the local convenience store with a trip to Mickey’s and then return so I could watch the end of “Blood Diamond.” That didn’t happen.

First thing was that I forgot my cellphone.  Regardless of whether I’m going down the street, or to downtown, I take my cellphone. This made me unhappy, but since the convenience store is one direction and Mickey’s the other direction, I figured I could stop by on my way to Mickey’s and pick it up.

I’ve been having that “feeling” and Nate has too, that we’re being, well, watched. Nate gets creeped out if the neighborhood dogs bark at a certain time of night and its hard not to be paranoid to some degree with everything that’s going on. However, you tend to tell yourself you’re just being paranoid and you continue to attempt to convince yourself that everything is okay.

Given that, I really wasn’t surprised that I caught Jeff cruising my neighborhood at 10:30 last night. I can’t say it didn’t scare the shit out of me, and I can’t say that I was in the least bit thrilled that what I thought was an irrational fear and a response to the situation, has now been verified as a reality.

Needless to say, I went home, got Nate, and we went to Mickey’s together.  We sat in the car upon our return home and just talked and watched. I told him that I was pretty certain that his father had seen me, and therefore had probably left the area.

And really, I thought I was just being paranoid and overly sensitive. Maybe I just wanted to convince myself of that and reach for that sense of peacefulness that I haven’t had in a while. It is out of reach.

So, do I continue to squirrel Nate and myself away in our house, afraid to go out for a pack of cigarettes after dark? Or do I hunt him as he hunts us?

What a sad, sick story this is.

I said, “Rabbit, rabbit,” yesterday and maybe it was good luck that my eyes have been fully opened. 

In other news, I have a mother Red-tail Hawk nesting in my Ash tree.  I saw her swoop in with a small rodent day before yesterday and heard the unmistakeable Red-Tail cry. Watch over us, Mama.

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