A Couple of Redeemers

July 3, 2009 at 9:05 pm (Crazy Shit, Friends, Memories, Nate, Relationships)

Have you ever been in a situation where someone has told you something and finished with, “I thought you should know.”?  Yeah, that’s where I found myself today.

Its one of those situations that is rather upsetting and I know that it was kept from me with the best of intentions, so as not to upset me or even embarass me. However, I would have rather known sooner than later that Jace has been exhibiting unsavory behaviors in his new position at a location other than mine, which he went to right after he dropped out of my life.

I had long suspected that the reason for him dropping out of my life was to pursue those more nubile, and you may read into that, more stupid, more needy, and less worldly than myself, in his new position. However, those pursuits have turned to harassment. Such a no-no. What a schmuck. His schmuckish behavior is guaranteed to earn him a permanent disownment from our restaurant family.

Being told of this situation has caused a wealth of emotions to rise.  Disgust, disappointment, and my general indifference has given way to loathing. I also threw my hands in the air and wondered, “WHY AM I SUCH A SCHMUCK MAGNET???”  Especially considering I have a tendency to attract schmucks, I thought I had been doing a better job of weeding them out and yet another creeps through the cracks.

Its a damn good thing he dropped out of my life when he did because if I were still dating him, it wouldn’t be pretty AT ALL. As it is, I want to knock him out.

Anyway, I was lamenting my schmuck magnet status to Nate on the ride home and he was kind enough to tick off my ex-boyfriends, starting with his father, who Nate calls the Biggest Schmuck of Them All and worked his way past Ex-Drunk Boyfriend – who’s doing 70 years on a rape/attempted murder charge, then I brought up Lex, who Nate didn’t even know I was seeing, then or now, who really isn’t so much a schmuck as he is just … more strange than even I can tolerate, and a couple of other alcoholics that came and went as fast as they came.

Then Nate said, “Oh yeah, and Mike.”  Finally! Redemption! On a much grander scale than Lex. Whoo hoo!  Nate said, “Mike was cooool.” I agreed and added that our relationship didn’t end because he was a schmuck, it ended because we lived too far apart and, frankly, we just weren’t made for each other. Not that he isn’t a great guy, because he is, and probably THE greatest guy I’ve ever dated so far, but he just wasn’t the guy for me, nor was I the girl for him.  He married her last year.

I remember the first time I heard through the Blogger Gossip Network that he was dating his fair Adelphia and I went over to her blog. I knew within a minute of reading that she was The One. I sent him an e-mail and told him to just give it up and ask her to marry him because… SHE WAS THE ONE!  It made him pretty sour with me at the time. I understood why. You know, everything’s going great and you’re really into them but at the same time you’re afraid and you don’t want to get your hopes up.

And yes, I smiled with genuine warmth, and then grinned with a smug satisfaction when they announced their engagement that … I WAS RIGHT!  And, if you’re followers of their blogs, then you and I both know that these two people are right where they should be.

At one point, I had written about another of my ex’s, probably Lex, as he, like Mike, is the only one with redeeming qualities. Mike had mentioned that he wondered, eventually, how he would be remembered and he hoped I would be as kind to him as I was to Lex. I told him it quite possibly could take a while and it has.

Mike is the best reminder that there are still kind, caring, intelligent, passionate, witty guys out there. And also a good reminder that I haven’t just dated schmucks.

Mazel Tov!


  1. kenju said,

    You’re not a schmuck magnet, you just met and dated a few, like we all have.

  2. Jammie J said,

    yeah, Mike is cool. When I talk about him to Tony, I always have to add, “You know, the guy who let you drive his car within 5 minutes of meeting you and renounced Disneyland?” And Tony always nods and says, “Oh yeah, he was cool.”

    so now you know what you need to find… a Cool Schmuck, instead of a premature ejaculating schmuck. What? You said it, not me… “a couple of other alcoholics that came and went as fast as they came.”

  3. noonie said,

    Hmm, I think you need a questionnaire to hand out to potential dates….

    that won’t look strange at all….

    trust me you’ll just look organised…

    No really, don’t you trust me?

    Big hugs… I never had to suffer the trials of dating, I used to think maybe I missed out on something, now I realise I was sooo lucky.

    Thank you for making me feel better… I wish I could help you feel better.

  4. Vince said,

    Perhaps it’s less that you’re a schmuck magnet than the dating pool in your area has less that to be desired. Not to disparage small town WV, but based on population and statistics alone, how many good guys can there be?

    I have every confidence that one of these days THE ONE will fall into your life when you least expect it. You’ve proved that you can actually find a decent guy or two.

  5. Tina said,

    ^There are not many, Vince. That’s why all of mine have been out-of-staters, but there are psycho losers everywhere. My current boyfriend lives in Cinci, which is fine with me! We only see each other once a month and I couldn’t be happier! He doesn’t get on my nerves and I don’t get on his. 😉

    WV has VERY slim pickin’s. I refuse to lower my standards, though, and my standards are reasonable! All I see around here are drunk rednecks. There are a few nice, well-educated, respectable guys out there but they are all married. Like I said, WV doesn’t have much to choose from. They always say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but as far as WV is concerned it’s all crap with maybe one or two catches waayyyyyy out there. I am too old for “fishing.” I am happy with my “catch” anyway. 🙂

    Dude, let’s go to Europe where we can have our pick! Or Alaska where the male to female ratio is 2:1. 😉 Or Australia! 🙂

  6. Kate said,

    It’s just good news that you saw the light and aren’t with him anymore!

  7. Kate said,

    Thanks for stopping by my site, please feel free to come back anytime!

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