Eliminator

May 27, 2009 at 10:53 am (Cats, Chico, Friends, Nate, Relationships)

Chico is a little eliminator. He’s eliminated the need for me to clean up cat barf.  In that regard, I should have named him Hoover. He’s also eliminated the need for me to seek and destroy hairballs. He is a hairball lover and had I known my cats’ regurgitated food/hair snakes would supply him with hours of chewing enjoyment I may well have saved a shit-ton of money buying him real toys.

He also chews on my old toothbrush, thus saving me the need to brush his teeth for him. It also precipitated the need for me to buy a new toothbrush as the toothbrush wasn’t really old, it just happened that after I had finished brushing my teeth one morning, and before putting said toothbrush back in the cabinet, one of the cats jumped up on the counter, and knocked the toothbrush to the floor where the little big-eared crumbcatcher was waiting.

Nate likes for me to bring Chico to school to pick him up. He rushes up, throws his 30 lb. bookbag at me, grabs the dog and says, “Ohhhhh, come on my little chick magnet.” He learned this behavior from his father.

We have decided that Chico’s ears are an indicator of : How rotten he is being (both ears totally erect), sad (both ears down), stable (one ear up/one ear down), and the weather: hot (both ears up), cold (both ears down), comfortable (one up/one down). Right now he is laying on a pile of laundry, chewing on his toothbrush, with both ears up. It is very comfortable in the house right now so this proves the little shit knows that was my toothbrush and he shouldn’t be chewing on it.

Tango was just trying to be sociable and Macy layed her ears back and growled at him. He thought he would try playing with Chico, but Chico is chewing on his toothbrush, which precipitated another round of growls from the laundry pile. Tango wandered off into the living room, which I find hilarious considering he is twice the size of Chico.

Perhaps this is because I have witnessed Chico racing after Tango with tufts of black cat hair in his mouth. The only cat Chico has a healthy fear of is Macy, because Macy will kick his ass. Chico will race up to the other cats and grab a hold of the skin at their neck and start tugging. Not Macy. He only has the nerve to nip at her ass and then skirts away with his tail between his legs when she turns and glares at him with the, “Oh no you didn’t,” look. If she could swivel her head, she would.

Nate likes to irritate Chico while he’s trying to nap.  Chico, being a puppy, will play full force and then suddenly, “Um, I need a nap, so I gotta find a lap. *Snore*”  Like, right now. Literally, he was chewing on his toothbrush, then came over, barked, I picked him up, he layed down, and *snore*. Now, if I go to pick him up, he’ll growl at me. Not a menacing I’m-going-to-eat-you-alive growl, but a quit-fucking-with-me-can’t-you-see-I’m-trying-to-sleep growl.

Nate has learned he doesn’t even have to pick him up or try to pick him up, all he has to do is touch him. So, he does. *Touch* *growl* *giggle* *touch* *growl* *giggle* *touch* *growl* *giggle* *touchgrowlgiggle* *touchgrowlgiggle*

NATE! STOP MESSING WITH THE DOG!!

Awwww! Its fun!

You’ll make him mean! Leave him alone!

*touch* *growl* *giggle*

NAAAAATE!

Okay, okay.

I’ve taken to calling Chico – Chico Mocoso. “Mocoso” supposedly being the Spanish word for “brat.” It probably means “twat” or “douchebag” so I don’t say it out loud in front of my Mexican neighbors.

One would think I’d have the sense to use German words, since I do speak fluent German and he is half German, it would make more sense to call him a Schlingle, which I know means “brat” in German. At least, that’s what my host father told me. Then again, its colloquial and could also mean “douchebag.” Although I don’t see my host mother putting up with my host father calling me a douchebag for 20 years.

And let’s face it, Chico looks Mexican. Although he has several personality traits of the dachsund, namely his digging, burrowing, and attacking anything resembling a badger (the cats), in his features he definitely takes after the chihuahua side of the family. I mean, if he had taken after the dachsund side of the family I would have named him Hans and I would feel comfortable speaking German to him. I do call him Momma’s Bubba’s Little Badger Dog, and that will have to suffice.

In other news, I saw Lex yesterday. He texted me when I got off from work and I visited with him on the patio at Booksamillion before picking Nate up from his field trip. He looks good, good enough to eat. I’ll get to that. I got some good hugs and stole a sweet kiss. He’s preparing for the LSAT, so I sat down and took part of the test, which I got 100% on. Maybe I’ll study for and take the LSAT, just to see how I do. Anyway, Lex is trying to finish up his Masters in History while studying for the LSAT, working, and chasing me around.

I think, its going to be a great summer.

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5 Comments

  1. eviltwinswife said,

    mocoso does mean “brat”, so you’re safe! 🙂

  2. Seamus said,

    Dogs on patrol – if it hits the floor its theirs! 😉

  3. Tina said,

    Woohoo! It looks like both of us will be getting some this weekend! 😉

  4. Tammie said,

    I think my cat rubs it’s asshole on my toothbrush. It’s either that or one of the kids doesn’t like me.

  5. PandoraWilde said,

    My monster cat Desi used to take on my boyfriend’s Husky (full-grown male) in fights… and win. The vet said it was PMS and fixing her was best. So fixed she is and declawed just in case to boot.

    I almost cried for the poor dog when I saw a spot of blood on his nose, courtesy of my beloved shithead. I couldn’t stand the idea of her doing that again.

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