So, we all know what happened at Nate’s school yesterday. If you don’t, read my previous post and then feel free to join us.
This morning as Nate and I were preparing to leave for school, he couldn’t find his phone so I called it. It was vibrating between the couch cushions and he has this thing where he likes to put both phones up to his ears and talk to himself. Just go with it.
I went out to the car and he followed in a few minutes. I noticed that he was carrying his book but no cellphone but was in a hurry and figured he had put it in his pocket.
After I dropped him off and was on my way back home to finish getting ready for work, I reached for my cell phone and realized I didn’t have it. The thought then dawned on me as to whether or not Nate had a) done a Nate thing and left both phones laying on the couch at home – which has happened before or b) done a Nate thing and put both of our phones in his pocket or c) done a completely un-Nate thing and taken his and left mine at home.
My suspicions for option “b” were confirmed when I arrived home and found no cellphones. Great. I hoped that Nate had realized what he had done and had turned my phone onto vibrate and stowed it either in his backpack, locker, or even taken it to the office.
The last thing he needed was more trouble.
I went to work an hour early because we’ve been renovating and have to clean in the mornings and on the way there thought about how my son should have his own reality show, “The Life of Nate.” I wanted to call Jeff and give him a heads up about the situation about the cellphones before I got started. He answered the phone on the first ring, as though waiting for my call and immediately said, “Goofy ass!”
I said, “What?”
“Goofy ass. That’s what I called Nate’s Vice-Principal, a goofy ass.” Oh shit. Is he drunk?
“Why did you call Nate’s Vice-Principal a goofy ass?”
“Because she answered your phone!”
“She did what?”
“Yeah, and she said, ‘Excuse me?’ so I said, again, ‘Goofy ass!’ then she said, ‘This is Nate’s phone that was taken away from him, who is this? *mumble mumble* Oh, well, its his mother’s phone that he put in his pocket and he turned it in to the office. And who is this calling Nate?’ and I said, ‘Well, this is Nate’s dad and I wasn’t calling Nate, I was calling Nanner.”
By this time I was halfway between completely mortified and nearly peeing my pants laughing at the thought of Jeff calling Nate’s Vice-Principal a goofy ass. Then I realized that I would never ever, unless 100% completely necessary, be able to face this woman ever again. Never ever.
Then I guess they talked about the fact that I had been in the office yesterday blah, blah, blah. Then Jeff said, “Well, I guess she knows now why Nate is the way he is.”
After I stopped crying tears of mirth and embarassment, I said, “You know, on the way to work I was thinking that Nate should have his own reality show and this pretty much cements that thought.”
By the way, Jeff was not mad at me nor did he mean anything sinister by calling me “Goofy ass.” That’s just his way of saying, “Good morning, Sunshine!”
Maybe Jeff has learned this is a better salutation.
Perhaps the Vice-Principal has learned not to answer someone else’s phone.
And just maybe, on an off chance, Nate has learned not to take my phone to school.
Goofy ass. Bwwhahahahahahahahaha!!!!