Oh, wait, I meant, Nanner, She’s a Bitch.
As you will recall if you read yesterday’s post, I worked a training session for evening shift . Since I’ve worked evening shift before it was to hone my skills and its not like I just walked around with my thumb stuck up my ass because that’s a huge bore, yet, I didn’t get any tips.
Honestly, it chapped my ass. I wouldn’t do that to someone, especially when they’re doing more than just following me around. It chapped my ass even more that I had to be at work early this morning and I got stuck there last night cleaning up wine puke. Ya know, I have a mortgage too.
Today was Round 1 of the hell the rest of you know as Valentine’s Day. The door opened at 11:00 and I didn’t look up for 8 long hours. I may have looked up in that time, but then someone promptly slammed my nose back to the grindstone, and then I worked 5 more long hours. I was supposed to get off at 5 and I finally left at 11.
It was a tough day, but a good day.
The bitch part comes in in that as the bartender I take all of the tables up until 5. Wellllllll, the ones that come in close to 5, its a toss-up between dayshift and evening shift. At 5, I had five tables. One was seated at 4:55 and I worked those bitches, I worked those bitches hard. I had one table that had come in earlier but they wanted dinner, so I plied them with booze and salads until the kitchen would let me roll dinner.
Oh yeah, they tipped me 30% for just letting them sit there for over an hour waiting on dinner service.
Again, the bitch part of that, it kept the tables tied up. The bad part was that part of my day section went to a server that I wasn’t thrilled about screwing. The other part of the section went to the server that chapped my ass yesterday, and frankly, I didn’t give a shit. Matter of fact, it made me so fucking happy, I didn’t care that I hadn’t peed or eaten or smoked a cigarette. I didn’t care that my ass, my legs, my shoulders, my head, and my feet ached like hell.
I walked around with a great big smile on my face because I’M A FUCKING BITCH THAT WAY!If Heaven is a place where the angels go, well then I gotta story to tell, if Heaven is a place where the angels go, then I guess you’re goin’ straight ta hell… This is what you get, karma bitch! Now I see who you really are. Happiness is the best revenge. (from “Little Smirk” by Theory of a Deadman) So, if you’re pissed like me, bitches here’s what you gotta do, put your middle fingers up in the air, come on and say, “Fuck you.” (from “Hate My Life” by Theory of a Deadman) And now the fucking italics won’t turn off, but hey, if I can stay awake, I’m gonna get laid too. What a great Friday the 13th. ROCK ON BITCHES!!!!!