What The F&*K???

February 13, 2009 at 2:29 am (Crazy Shit, Nate, Relationships, Work)

Thanks for your advice and so forth on the last post. It was one of those things I wrote as a musing and to put it on “paper” to see if it made more sense that way. It didn’t. Glad you have power again Sagacious One.

On to this warped day.

First, Jace spent the day in the Emergency Room because his blood sugar spiked over 600 and they had to put him on an insulin drip. He’s not been feeling well and illness makes it more difficult to control his blood sugar. He decided not to call me until he was released and on his way to the restaurant.

I told him after we were both off that I’m not sure what’s going to happen between us in the future, but for the time being, I’m sticking around to find out so I would appreciate it if he would actually treat me as someone who gives a shit about him, loves him even, and next time, if there is one, to consider calling me earlier, especially since I was off until 4 today and could have at least kept him company at the hospital.

Second, when I did get to work, we still didn’t have a dishwasher, not the dude, the actual machine. Everything has to be handwashed until the repairmen figure out the dealio. It sucks. It sucks for all of us because we all have to wash and polish and wash and polish and wash and polish and wash and polish.

Thirdly, Shifty-Eyed Bartender, who I’ve actually grown to like most days, told me the lone guy at the bar when I came in was “creepy.” She said he had told her he only had 21 dollars so she had to give him a running total. She said, again, “He’s really creepy.”  Men, when women tell you that a guy or gal or situation is creepy, remember these words – women’s intuition.  Creepy Guy eventually cashed out and left our establishment.

About 7 this evening, Emeil, our little hostess comes up and says, “Wow, I just saw like three cops cars come up the hill.” That’s unusual because the restaurant is in a very, very nice part of town and cop cars don’t just come screaming by. We see a lot of red lights because we’re right across from the fire station, but blue lights are very uncommon. There are two banks on the other corners.

About 7:05, the restaurant in bathed in blue lights. There are police at both banks, the fire station, blocking the road in front of the restaurant, and parked behind our guests vehicles in the parking lot.

Creepy Guy, yeah, he robbed the Rite Aid around the curve from us. They found him down the hill behind another restaurant down the street from us. He didn’t steal any money, he just wanted prescription drugs. He’ll be on World’s Dumbest Criminals because I guess someone in Rite Aid recognized him and gave the police his cellphone number. Yep, they call it. Yep, he answered. Yep, he believed them when they said they were a concerned friend. Yep, he told them where he was hiding. Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

I told Shifty-Eyed Bartender, “He did it for you.”

Fourthly, aside from all the washing and polishing and police cars we actually were finishing up to be out at 11. I was wiping down the bathroom sinks and cleaning the toilets when a lady stumbled in and settled herself in the big girl stall. Her anxious boyfriend kept opening the door to the ladies’ room checking on her.

I heard a bit of moaning, some farting, some peeing, and then nothing. I went on to clean the men’s room, waiting for her to finish up so I could clean the big girl stall when Anxious Boyfriend asked me to check on her. I peeked through the crack and can see that she is passed out… on the toilet. Yes, her pants were down.

I came out of the bathroom and he asked if she was okay and I said, “No, not really.” I then signalled to Maribee to come help. She came in, took one look, and then went to call the General Manager to come up. We three ladies finally got the door open and GM and I woke the lady up. I went on to finish the men’s room and checked back with GM.  The lady was still on the toilet but now had thrown up on the floor and in the garbage can that GM was too late getting in the stall.

Lucky for us, unlucky for her, the lady hadn’t had much to eat so much of what she threw up was expensive red wine. Red wine will kick your ass if you don’t know what it can do. It kicked her ass. After much waiting, and from what GM told me, crying and humiliation on the lady’s part, GM finally convinced the lady not to help us clean up and to vacate the stall and bathroom so we could clean and go home.

I was standing there, gloved, mop and mop bucket on standby and GM and I cleaned up the mess. Maribee doesn’t do so well with puke. Good thing I have a kid. She said I was her hero. I should have asked where my tip was.  See, I was training tonight, even though I’ve worked evening shift before they just wanted to refine my skills. Maribee is not the type to share tips in those situations. So, I got screwed on tips and I had to clean up puke.

Fifthly, Nate and his sister had a run-in with a creepy house and I’m not allowed to say anything else about that since I have been sworn to secrecy.

I asked Nate on the way home what he’s learned today.

He said, “You mean at school or in life?” 

I said, “In life. You know, we’ve shared our experiences, what have we learned today? Stay away from creepy guys at bars, stay away from creepy houses, and don’t drink red wine on an empty stomach.”

Oh yeah, and don’t answer your cellphone when you’re on the lam. Its the po-po.

And to think, this day started out like any other day.


  1. kenju said,

    WOW. There’s never a dull moment there, it seems. That creepy guy will be in the Darwin awards for this year. What a nut case.

    I know all about what red wine can do, and I’ve never been in that situation, thank heaven!!

  2. Evil Twin's Wife said,

    Thank goodness for the end of the work day! Hope today is better.

  3. Marie said,

    Amazing how much you can cram into one work day. I hope America’s dumbest criminal – gets a new cell number. 🙂 Hopefully today will be all sunshine and light.

  4. SagaciousHillbilly said,

    Never lost my power, but the electricity is still out! Posting from a remote location.

  5. Tina said,


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