Stop. Staring. AT ME.

November 11, 2008 at 8:49 pm (Work)

So, I have this issue at work. People stare at me sometimes. I’m used to my guests looking at me. I’m used to them listening to me. I’m not used to people who continuously stare at me and not utter a word. This makes me uncomfortable.

Sometimes I believe these stares are because my guests haven’t realized this is no ordinary restaurant and their meal is going to cost a lot. This is the “price tag shock” stare. I know these folks will only tip me about 10%.

Sometimes I believe it is because they can’t believe I didn’t show up at their table with two teeth, both rotted, cracking gum and saying, “How ya’ll doin’ tonight? Kin I getcha a bear?” This goes along with the “price tag shock” stare. I call this the “I’m outta my league” stare.

Sometimes its the guy at the table with his wife or girlfriend and he flirts and stares every time I come to the table, to the point I pray to Goddess he’s paying the tab because if his wife or girlfriend does then I’ll be getting about 10%. I call this the “Lothario stare.”

On occasion, I have the great fortune (read sarcastically) of waiting on a group of ladies to whom genes, time, and too many hot fudge cakes haven’t been kind. Its one thing to be overweight, its another to be overweight and ugly, and yet another to be overweight, ugly, and have a rotten personality. Two of those you just can’t help sometimes. There’s one lady who comes in who could be a plus-size model. She’s beautiful, sweet, and has a great personality. Another lady is very overweight, not exactly pretty, but has a great personality and is always smiling and fun to wait on.

Then you have the other ladies. The overweight, ugly, rotten personalitied ones. They’re the ones who like to make all of their requests, one.at.a.time, so I’m running my ass off the entire time they’re there for refills, more dressing, a lemon, a lime, more cheese, more “pink” sugar, more “blue” sugar, more “yellow” sugar, a new glass, another plate, more bread, and dessert, one. at. a time. and basically want me to do everything above and beyond but feed them and then wipe their ass when they shit it out. And they stare at me… the entire time. Stare. Like I have three heads and I just didn’t ask if they wanted mustard and mayo with that cheeseburger and fries. I call this the “if I look at her long enough she’ll gain 50 lbs. and be ugly” stare. I just thank them (silently) that I got my workout and they just paid me to do it (because I’m a bitch that way.)

Then there are days that I have absolutely no clue why people are staring at me. Men and women staring at me. I’ve asked my co-workers if I have an errant boogey hanging from my nostril, if I have spinach between my teeth, or if somehow between putting my make-up on and walking onto the floor that one of my eyebrows has mysteriously disappeared. I’ve been assured that nothing of the like has occurred.

On Friday evening, I had the “Lothario.”  We went to high school together and he graduated with my brother. Once I reminded him who I was he said, “Wow, you grew up beautiful.” Leading me to believe I was some kind of bow-wow in high school. I laughed about it and he said, “You’re totally misunderstanding me.” Since I didn’t want to understand and I definitely didn’t want his wife to understand, I changed the subject back to food and beverage. I think the friends they were with tipped me big because I pointedly dismissed his staring by not responding, at all.

J.M. stares at me but I think its because he wishes I was willing to sacrifice my uterus to the Union and the Republican Party so he wouldn’t feel guilty about wishing he had the guts to date me. Too late. He’s the guy who told me I have beautiful eyes.

I could chalk Friday up to the fact Jace had just asked me out and I was floating. And I could chalk yesterday up to the fact that I had a wonderful weekend and was still smiling like an idiot all day, but that doesn’t explain the other times that it has happened before Friday and before Jace.

Yes, I have a pretty face, and yes, I have breasts but neither of those, to my knowledge, has ever made anyone lose the ability to speak coherent sentences when asked a simple, “Would you like fries, chips, or fruit with that?”

So, please, STOP. STARING. AT ME.

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17 Comments

  1. Aimee said,

    I dunno, Nanner. Your beautiful tits have made me lose the power of speech a time or two. 😉

  2. evilsciencechick said,

    *stare*

    *boggle*

    *stare some more*

  3. Evil Twin's Wife said,

    I get stared at a lot too. I’ve often told friends who don’t believe me until we’re out somewhere together. I’m not attractive, nor am I hideous, so I start thinking perhaps I’ve grown a penis out my forehead when I get ogled like that.

  4. trashman said,

    Sunshine
    It’s amazing what a pretty face and a great rack can do to a guy. i had to type this twice cause I kept stuttering. How bout now, you thinking about me now?

  5. Jamie said,

    Seriously, at the hospital, we get stared at a lot. I hate the room across from us, and the room next to it with the chair facing us. People think because we are on the clock that it isn’t rude or something. I’m a nurse, not a freak show. I sometimes stare right back, just as boldy as they do. Or I ask if there’s something they need, verrry nicely, of course!

    I find though that I tend to stare at people I find visually interesting, for whatever reason. So I try to take it as a compliment, but some days I just can’t take it. Other days I feel like being crass, picking my nose, or scratching my butt when I’m stared at, so who knows.

    Guess it’s better then being so ugly nobody can look you in the eyes ever!

  6. kenju said,

    I used to get stared at a lot when I was your age, but no more. You DO have beautiful eyes and the rack doesn’t hurt, you know?

    ETW, you are very attractive – so hush!

  7. LisaBinDaCity said,

    I don’t like being stared at either. It happens a lot though and like you, I wonder if there is something in my teeth.

    Joys of being cute, I guess 😉

  8. boo said,

    I think it is the eyes (and the gorgeous boobs in your case) because I get people who stare and lots of them swear they know me from somewhere. I’ve been told I have mesmerizing eyes (and you definitely do too) and people can’t help but stare. It’s almost like they are locked into a target and can’t look away. Weird Huh?

  9. Vince said,

    I would definately be one of your “Lothario” customers, but I’d be subtle about it. And I’d tip you well if the service was good.

    Your beauty and your breasts would not cause me to lose the ability to speak in coherent sentences, but might result in totally shameless flattery of your famed beauty and the fact you couldn’t be older than 21.

  10. Tina said,

    The guys just think you are hot! The pretentious, bitchy fatasses are just jealous that you are hot! 🙂

    Then again maybe everyone in question is jealous because they see that “glow” that only they WISHED for! 🙂

  11. themom said,

    Anyone who has worked in the food service industry – has to agree with every word. At one time in my life, I think I must have waited on the same people. But from that Halloween picture – your eyes are captivating. That’s the first thing I notice on everyone.

  12. Jammie J. said,

    Fruit??? You offer them fruit? I’d stare, too.

    hehehe

    Oh I kid. Maybe they’d like to ask you if they could have a hug? You do have the best hugs ever. 🙂 Or maybe they’re not staring at you at all… maybe it’s a vacant stare and they’re trying to work out the problems in their universe. Or maybe they are staring at you and you should just be glad it’s not a malovent stare.

  13. Michael said,

    It’s time for the burka.
    They’ll still stare, but they won’t see much.
    And assume you’re a muslim, and then probably make the illogical leap that you’re a terrorist.
    So homeland security will be staring too.
    Okay, forget the burka.
    Maybe a Scuba suit?

  14. Zelda said,

    Sheesh. If you’re fat and ugly you can still have charm. And that’s half the battle right there.

  15. Ben said,

    Maybe people are staring at you because you are a terrible waitress. Maybe you have a booger in your nose.

    How conceited do you have to be to think that all men find you attractive?

  16. SagaciousHillbilly said,

    A pretty face with big tits in a white dress shirt and I’m starin. .v. hopin you’ll bend over, lean back or do something that’ll gimme a flash of bra or tit flesh.

  17. Craig said,

    Based on your well-written blog entries, I suspect these men who find you attractive are not just admiring your stunning and undeniable good looks (nice pics). You’ve got the whole package!

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