There Is No Spoon

October 21, 2008 at 3:21 pm (Crazy Shit, Memories) ()

Something over the weekend made me think of spooning. I’m not certain what it was, but I thought to myself, “Oh, it hasn’t been that long ago that I woke up in a man’s arms. It was… last week.” But then I realized that was very far from the truth. I had dreamt it and that dream was so real that I actually thought it had happened. I’m not actually sure where the dream ended and reality began.

From what I remember, my alarm went off and I rolled out of bed, out of his arms, and looking back at the bed, I saw him still sleeping there and smiled. I remember a pervasive feeling of peace, which hung on the entire day. I found myself smiling as I remembered that feeling – the feeling of his arms around me, his warmth, the skin of his arm under my cheek, the brush of his hand on my hip as I left our cocoon, and his fading image that gave way to just an empty bed.

If you had asked me I would have told you I woke up with him. I would have told you how peacefully I slept. I would have told you I thanked him. I would have told you I smiled. I would have told you I tucked that moment away in the memories I never want to forget; when everything was right in the world in the darkness of that morning.

Some people believe the soul leaves the body during sleep and some our dreams are actually our midnight travels. If so, I would certainly say this was no dream, but a sojourn through the nocturnal hours in search of a peace I long for and which he willingly gave.

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

I hope you always know that.


  1. Tina said,

    That’s pretty intense, hun. I have had dreams like that, where you can’t really tell reality from a dream as you are waking up. And AS you are waking up you still feel the emotions and feelings from the dream, not matter what it was. It’s much different from lucid dreaming.

  2. Beth said,

    I hate to ruin the beautiful sentiments you wrote, but if it is true that our souls go on a nightly sojourn, then it makes sense that I wake up sometimes completely creeped out, feeling someone’s been in my bedroom all night without my knowing it.

    Sorry…damn Halloween and all its scary movies. 🙂

  3. Evil Twin's Wife said,

    I hate when I have dreams that make me angry at the Evil Twin and then when I wake up, I still can’t shake it.

  4. blackpunkin said,

    You’re right, Beanie, it is completely different than lucid dreaming. Luckily, I’ve had more intense loving emotions upon waking than the one time I had the complete opposite.

    Beth, perhaps you too have creeped someone out by hanging out in their bedroom all night and they’re just returning the favor.

    ETW, I’ve heard of dreams like that. I think I’ve maybe one, but then again, I’ve never been married and had to deal with someone day in and day out.

  5. Seamus said,

    I like the thought of nightly sojourns.

  6. kenju said,

    I like that thought too, and while I believe that is what happens, I cannot say that I actually know it from experience.

  7. Marie (themom) said,

    The thought of nightly sojours sounds so peaceful and satisfying. If one can cling to that solace – wonderful!

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