Smiling Skulls

May 5, 2008 at 10:55 pm (Attitude in Overdrive, Nate)

There’s a good reason I quote Alice in Chains music on my blog. It saves me from having to come up with the same boring tripe I use to describe one particular facet of my life – Jeff.

Scarys on the wall
Scarys on his way (We Die Young – Facelift)

Could I say that any better?

Jeff decided to start some shit with me, over the same ole shit, when I picked Nate up. Then tried to accuse me of fighting in front of Nate and blah, blah, blah, blah. There is no better way to say that.

Why you act crazy
Not an act maybe (I Stay Away – Jar of Flies)

I mean, its blah, blah, blah, old shit, old shit, old shit, oh, you’re drunk again, irrational, bullshitty shit. Yes, I created my own word. Bullshitty! Not just shitty, ya’ll, but BULLSHITTY!

Its hard to have an rational, intelligent conversation with someone who is neither. However, I never raised my voice. He tried, damn, he tried! And I just calmly, rationally, and intelligently pointed out the flaws in his arguments, which were as gaping as the Grand fucking Canyon. When I determined that he was just bitching to hear himself bitch and wasn’t interested in actually resolving any issues, but merely flipping them over and over on the Griddle of Life (until they no longer resemble pancakes and have become dried, crusty, dead pieces of matter, much like himself), I walked away.

He followed.

Hey you, pass me down that
Bottle, yeah
Hey you, you can’t shake
Me round now…

Say goodbye don’t follow
Misery so hollow (Don’t Follow – Jar of Flies)

I hate that. Don’t follow. Just don’t follow. And don’t point your finger in my face and threaten that you’re going to shove something up my ass. My ass has been here for 37 1/2 years, and you have yet to shove anything up it. I wanted to quote “Pride & Prejudice” to him. You’re being “non-sensical.”  You can threaten all you want but I know, deep down, you’re a pussy. You know if you take me to court to lower your child support, I’ll take it a step further, and I’ll fucking win. I’ll take four years, yes, four years this year, that I’ve been blogging, and I’ll scour my posts for each and every mention of your name.

Documentation, baby, that’s where its at. Why do you think I write about it? Because I want to remember or give it one iota of importance in the daily grind of my life? No. I write about it because I want to always look back and remember, and I want the judge to know, if it comes to that.

Swing on (this) that! – (Swing on This – Jar of Flies)

So, in the name of documentation:

1. First gripe: I had to work late. Meaning, I was scheduled by my employer to work from 9-8. It is Cinco de Mayo, chances are we are going to be busy. I tell Jeff Sunday when I picked up Nate that I have to work late (until 8) but I’m hopeful it will be earlier. Jeff says nothing… until today. He says that I’m supposed to be off work at 5 and I’m supposed to pick up Nate thereafter. Yeah, but my boss said I have to work until 8 or whenever they let me go, which, sadly, wasn’t until 8:45ish. I had already called Nate to let him know it was going longer than I expected.

I asked Jeff why he didn’t tell me yesterday that he had other plans for this evening (which I believe amounted, literally, to shoveling horse shit), and I would have made other plans for Nate’s care. He snarled back that I would have just let Nate go home with his sister. Maybe, maybe not, depended on whether or not T-Bird could watch him. I told him that I can find alternative means of child care for when my schedule doesn’t jive with his.

Then he said, “Well, you didn’t ASK me, you TOLD me.”  Again, why didn’t you say something yesterday and I would have found an alternative source of child care?

2. This is when he decides to inform me that he’ll shove it up my ass about child support. I don’t even try to again explain that it only counts if Nate spends the night. I pointed out, or tried to, that he GAVE UP a custodial day. Perhaps he would like to explain THAT to the family law judge. But, he wasn’t listening.

3. I didn’t make Nate clip his fingernails soon enough for his liking. Somehow this has become my responsibility, as opposed to, say, hey, son, go clip your nails. I mean, is this something we should really be fighting about?

4. Nate’s bath taking. I let Nate take a shower in the morning because of his bedwetting issues. During the winter, Nate takes a shower every other day.  But he is Nate and sometimes, that doesn’t always happen. More often than not, if it doesn’t happen, it has to happen the following morning for the above listed reason. Jeff doesn’t like this.

5. He said I was getting burled up (What? So now I’m a hedgehog or an armadillo or whatever gets “burled up?”) I never raised my voice. I wasn’t going to take his shit either. You can stand your ground without becoming loud about it and following people when they’re clearly tired of talking to you in your “non-sensical” manner. I also did not put my finger in his face and make unnecessary and baseless threats about shoving anything up his ass. Trust me, I’m trying to stay as far away from his ass as possible.

There was nothing more satisfying than to tell Nate to get in the car, shut my door, start my car, and pull away with him yelling down the street like a lunatic. I did raise my voice, just so he could hear me as I drove out of sight, and he’s still yelling about child support and how I said if he took more of an interest in Nate that it could lowered. Again, this means, overnight visits. Not an hour and a half a day. I said, “I’ve tried before and you always turn me down!” I know, I’m such a meanie.

He also said something to me about going to Indiana, which, by the way, didn’t happen. I had purposefully tried to keep that fact from Nate because I know Jeff will interrogate him until he finds out exactly what I’m doing and who I’m doing it with. As if that’s ANY of HIS BUSINESS. I find that a little sick and disturbing, very disturbing.

There’s your documentation for the day. And, I made it to Columbus before my body said, “I’m not gonna make it, I’m too tired, go home.” So, I went bead shopping at Byzantium and I went home and I rested.

Good night…

Yeah, its over now, but I can breathe somehow
When its all worn out, I’d rather go without

You know its been on my mind
Could you stand right there
Look me straight in the eye and say
That its over now – (Over Now – Alice in Chains (eponymous))


  1. Jammie J said,

    Yeah, not yelling always seems to piss them off more than if you yelled. I remember my ex-husband would push and push me to get a reaction. If I gave him one, he’d let up for a minute but then he’d hold it against me for the next three months. He’d follow me, too, God I hated that. Thanks for the flashback. *grumble*

  2. Tina said,

    Man. It’s definitely the best if you keep your cool. You don’t want to stoop to his level of immaturity even though I know it’s hard not to. He’s an asshole, and it upsets me that you and Nate have to deal with his shit. Nate is 100,000 more mature than that cuntface. Like you told me he just wants to upset you and get a reaction. Don’t ever give him the satisfaction. See you soon. 🙂

  3. Vince said,

    The quickest way to piss off someone trying to argue with you is to be calm and reasonable. It’s the same as being very kind to someone that hates you. Makes them look like an ass and you look like a saint.

    Which you must be to put up with this idiot.

  4. Beth said,

    Yelling is the effort of a small mind trying to make itself heard.

    ‘Nuff said.

    Ps. Don’t quote me on that, someone much much smarter than me said that, I just can’t remember who.

  5. PandoraWilde said,

    Excellent work–I have an ex like that too. He hates it when his high holiness is ignored 🙂 It just makes my day when he boils over before I do.

  6. Ashley said,

    I don’t know how you do it every time. Sounds like you have the right idea (keeping your cool). I always feel bad for the kids in those situations but I know that Nate knows you love him. Just let him know that we think he’s pretty awesome too.

  7. Zelda said,

    You make me want to punch him in the stomach and sock him in the eye.

  8. Inanna said,

    Well, the drama continues and it all boils back down to… I love you, why did you leave me???? And I realize how he skewed things in his head all this time…

  9. Tina said,

    Can we just shoot him? What a dick.

  10. Jammie J. said,

    Happy Mothers day to you. xoxo

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