Her name would be T-Bird.
Way back in 2005, before my trip to New Orleans and Houston, I wrote a series of posts about T-Bird and our relationship. I blogged quite a bit in ’04 and ’05 about how I wanted to kill her somedays. Well, I still do. I’m sure she wants to kill me some days. We accept this as part of our friendship.
Of all the people I know, she’s probably changed the most since I met her. In good ways.
This time last year, she took on the task of raising her nephews in addition to her own son because her sister and Little A’s dad are both worthless pieces of shit. Oh, Big A’s dad is worthless too. Big A will be four in August and Little A just turned three. T-Bird and her old man, who she’s not even married to anymore, have raised Big A and Little A practically since they were born.
T-Bird’s sister asked her to take the boys while she “got her life together.” After the initial adjustment to living at T-Bird’s all the time, she was supposed to come by and help bathe the boys and put them to bed, have weekend visitation, etc. That has probably happened a grand total of twice in the past year. She was also supposed to help out monetarily as best she could. Instead, she decided partying and getting tattoos was more important than diapers, pull-ups, clothes, food, shoes… you know, all those things that kids need.
Had the boys stayed with their mother, there isn’t much doubt in my mind the State would have stepped in and taken them. The reason her sister handed them over to her is because she would take both boys. Everyone else just wanted the eldest. Little A had a lot of ear problems as a baby and whined constantly, never slept through the night, etc. I told T-Bird that as soon as she got tubes in his ears he would be fine. He was.
T-Bird is a very good mother. A little over-protective and no doubt she can be the biggest bitch you’ve ever met, even more than me, much more than me. However, I can say I don’t much blame her given what she has put up with out of her mother and her sister in the past year.
Most of the time, if I don’t have money, T-Bird does. If she doesn’t, then I do. 2007 was one of the leanest years for us collectively, ever. Yet, somehow, we managed to wade through custody, fire, broken water heaters, feast, famine, and family bullshit to make it through 2007.
Her sister is one of the most selfish people I have ever met, to the point of cruelty. Its sad, just SAD people, when a woman will sit on her ass and watch one of her children hurt, sad, or scared, and do nothing, leaving that child to seek solace from their aunt, or their pseudo-aunt, that would be me, or their uncle, who isn’t even their uncle anymore, yet changes their diapers, bathes their bottoms, works to put a roof over their head and clothes on their back. A MAN WHO ISN’T EVEN RELATED TO THEM BY BLOOD OR MARRIAGE (anymore.)
When T-Bird’s water heater went kaput, do you think any member of her family offered assistance in anyway? No. I bought T-Bird’s water heater and I’m glad I had the money to do it. My contractor finished sweating the pipes for them for free as a favor to me! T-Bird and I have exchanged the same $20 for an entire year. I needed gas, she needed gas, she needed diapers, I needed food, she needed food, I needed a utility paid, and on and on.
And she kept the utilities on, a family of five fed, paid the rent, took the kids, including her own, to doctors and dentist appointments, (and trust me, they have a lot because Big A has asthma and other bronchial problems and Little A had the trouble with his ears, and surgery, and T-Bird had two surgeries of her own since the kids came to live with her), clothes and shoes and time off from work, everything that comes with being a real parent.
And her mother and sister have the gall, the nerve, to call T-Bird SELFISH. Yeah. WTF, right? Her sister got mad at her because T-Bird wouldn’t pay her phone bill. Well, how about you exchange that $190 phone bill for that $900 day care bill, bitch?
Her mom and her sister never say a word around me. They wait until after I leave, which doesn’t take long because I can’t tolerate either one and I’d be happy to take one or both out into the parking lot of I’m Holier Than Thou Catholic Church and beat the living shit out of them.
Its as though they, her mother and sister, live to torment T-Bird. They make her life as difficult as possible without a word of thanks. T-Bird didn’t take the boys because she wants praise or accolades, she did it because she loves them. And she would do it again. But DAMN! Leave the poor woman alone!
I looked at her one day, with our four boys whooping like banshees, and said, “You know, it’s sad when you’re the sanest member of your family.” She laughed to keep from crying. Goddess love her heart, and while you’re at it, do something about that family of her’s.