Smashed UP!

January 21, 2008 at 7:19 pm (Crazy Shit)

Drunk, that is. After a particularly crappy day at work, in which I got my ass chewed at the end of it, I told Candyman, “I’m tyin’ one on tonight. I’m gettin’ drunk.” Period.

I’ve drank but not been exceptionally toasted or drunk-drunk, for over a year. I knew if I did all the shit I’ve shoved down inside of me would come out and play. Luckily, T-Bird can handle me when I get like that.

So, I had six Kaluha’s and cream, three Kaluha’s and Bailey’s, and four shots of tequila. The last seven drinks were at a local strip club. I used to be on good terms with the bartender, however, he got married and moved away. I still drank and checked out the hot chick with the nice ass and little nipples. And I got really drunk.

T-Bird, who doesn’t drink anymore, was kind enough to drive me around while I wailed and cried about the injustices of life and my feelings on just about everything from Jeff to Steve to Nate to her to the fire and beyond. She’s a good listener. She now knows how much I loved Jeff and Steve and how shitty it is that I can’t tolerate either of them now and how much it bothers me that some things don’t bother me, but I feel like they should.

Trust me, if something was bothering me on Saturday night, she would have heard about it.

I went to bed at 4, I think. I got up at 10 and was still bumping into the door frames and my back hurt and oh yeah, my head hurt. I was immensely glad to see that my bottle of “Holy shit, how much did I drink last night?” medication was sitting on my desk. I went back to bed. I woke up at 3 and decided that wasn’t long enough so I slept another hour.

T-Bird saw fit to remind me of how I argued with her and Bob about how much I drank. She said, “Girl, if you put three shots of Kaluha in a glass, that means three drinks, not one.” I knew that! I’m fucking bartender, I was just hoping she didn’t notice that little trick.

So, just keep that in mind if you’re ever out partying with Nanner… when I say, “I’m tyin’ one on,” yeah, I mean it.


  1. Jammie J said,

    Well, hell’s bells, let’s hope you don’t need to work something out for another year, huh?

  2. Mahala said,

    I’m so due for one of those lol

  3. Tina said,

    Man, I am so glad I don’t drink anymore. I had PLENTY of those days!

  4. Zelda said,

    I don’t like when I have those feelings. They make me want to drink more.

  5. Vince said,

    Damn! That’s some serious shit. Sounds like you needed the relief valve. Hopefully you feel better (emotionally, that is).

  6. Inanna said,

    Jammie, we can always hope.

    Mahala, I’m no worse for the wear, dear.

    Beanie, yeah, but now you have better outlets!

    Zelda, not if you purge them!!! And not necessarily in a throw up kind of way.

    Vince, I do feel better. Not 100%, but close.

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