Living Out LOUD

November 25, 2007 at 2:12 pm (Cats, Music, Nate, The House)

Big Papa said that about me last week. Yeah, you could say that, right?

I saw a shooting star last week too. Then I saw where it was time for the Leonid meteor shower. Since it was so early in the evening, that sucker must have been a real doozy! The trail was intense. Yes, I wished upon the shooting star. It had to do with love. I should have asked for money. Love and I don’t get along very well.

Last Saturday at work was insane. It probably would have been okay had we not had one section closed down for cleaning and then Whiny and I got confused about who was waiting on what table in one section. It was a fucocktomy. We almost came to blows. Not really at each other, well, okay, at each other, but also just out of sheer frustration until they opened my regular side up again. That was accomplished after our owner and executive chef moved all of the tables.

Poor Owner. He’s never worked with me and Whiny before. He thought we were really going to duke it out. The Assistant Manager had to tell him that we were fine and to just, well, leave us alone. I’m sure when I see him tomorrow he’ll ask about it. I’ll make sure he knows that if we ever come to blows we’ll do it in the employee parking lot.

I read Nikki Sixx’s book, “The Heroine Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star.” Anyone not knowing who Nikki Sixx is, he’s the bassist and a founding member of Motley Crue. (If you don’t know who Motley Crue is, then I don’t know what to tell ya.) Wow. Just wow. The reason I’ve never been a hardcore addict, other than smoking and beading, is because at a very young age, right after I discovered I liked drinking too much, I was well aware that if I ever tried the hardcore drugs, I’d like them way too much as well. I’ve drank a lot, smoked a little pot, but kept a healthy distance and aversion to anything more.

But, that doesn’t mean that what Nikki talks about in his book doesn’t apply to me. I chose not to become an addict but I loved the addict. The same feelings he was trying to run from in a coke/heroine/alcohol haze were the same feelings I had, and after the fact, we came to the same conclusions about the situations that were the root of the feelings.

Reading his book helped me. It made me laugh, especially when he talks about Gene Simmons, it disgusted me (I mean, gah! He injected heroine through his DICK!), it gave me insight into some of the bands that I followed and bought albums from in the 80’s, but most of all, I didn’t feel so alone, especially in a time when I have felt very alone. I also read an interview on his MySpace page and I was especially interested in how he talks to his children who are 16, 13, 12, and 6. I found this especially interesting –

“They say that alcoholism is a disease, and that it gets passed on from generation to generation. Trust me, I’ve told my kids about that: ‘You’ve got the crazy gene in you, guys. When it comes time to kick back with the buddies, drink a beer, and watch a football game, just realize that there will be a day when that thing turns on you. So you better keep an eye on it.'”

I just read that to Nate. I talk to him a lot about alcoholism and drugs. I’ve talked to him about Nikki’s book and I think he may be getting old enough to read it. Nikki also said in a speech from Capitol Hill – paraphrasing – “When they talk about painkillers, I ask, what pain are they trying to kill?” I understand that. I get that.

I wrote a letter to him. Been a long time since I’ve written a letter to a rock star. Hell, it may be the first, but after reading his book, he’s just another single parent trying to do the right thing and wondering if everything he’s learned will rub off on his kids. I didn’t send it out, not sure I will, but it made me feel better.

This is my only day off this week and I’m trying to: get clothes together for washing, get dishes stacked in the dishwasher, and then decide who gets to use the water first, clean the living room, decide where to put the Yule Tree I don’t own yet, hang Yule lights without the benefit of an extension cord since my wonderful contractors took the only one that survived the fire (bastards!), clean the rest of my house, change litter boxes, wash what dishes I can’t put in the dishwasher, put something in the crock pot for dinner, love on Nate, and love on the kitties. Those last two prevent me from doing the other things, which doesn’t hurt my feelings a bit.


  1. Seamus said,

    “…love on Nate, and love on the kitties…” That’s the important stuff for sure!

  2. kenju said,

    Seamus is right!

  3. Pand0raWilde said,

    “…love on Nate, and love on the kitties…”

    Excellent priorities!

    I’m working on holiday stuff right now too–just got tree sachets done today and I’m working my way thru my soap inventory to see what I have on hand and what needs to be made.

  4. Vince said,

    I saw the book this weekend. I remember seeing interviews of him talking about dying, being brought back, then shooting up again. It amazes me this guy is still walking, he tried so hard to kill himself.

  5. brightonandbear said,

    You are focused on what matters, that says so much about your character. Love you girl, and if you need anything (I’m thinking Holiday care box)…. e-mail me your address : )

  6. CrazyRideLady said,

    The book was frightening, funny, disgusting, sad, and so many more things. I loved it. I can’t wait until my boys are old enough to read it.

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