Have you ever met someone and they give you such an attitude you wonder if you’ve met them before, wronged them in some egregious way, and just not remembered it? I had a guest like that today. The majority of my guests were absolutely fantastic today as we were slammin’ busy and none of them gave me a hard time about it. This particular lady didn’t either but I literally wanted to put the tray down and say, “What?”
Dirty looks, good Goddess! Look lady, it is totally not my fault you’re ugly. Bad genes, I guess, and that shirt you were wearing didn’t do much for you either. I still believe that attitude accounts for at least 50% of attraction. Trust me, I didn’t get laid last weekend either and I’m hot, friendly, and had a date for sex… and still didn’t get any. Gah!
One of my lawyer bosses once said, “Ugly chicks should be friendly because they have nothing else going for them. Hot chicks like you can get by with being bitchy simply because you’re hot and beautiful but ugly chicks… naw, they almost have to be nice.” I punched him in the arm, hard. Although in our society, he has a point.
Enough of that. Jack got his balls cut off today. He’s still in his crate as he’s still woozy and he’s not allowed out until tomorrow. I hate that but really, have you smelled male cat piss? *Gag* Poor Jack.
Nate asked me how they were going to do it and I told him they would make two small cuts below Jack’s scrotum, pop his little balls out, and slice them off. Nate made a face and said, “Ugh, I’m sure am glad you don’t have to do that to me.” LOL! I said, “Yeah, really. It was bad enough having you circumcised.”
Oh yeah, I walked right into that one. Blond to the bone.
Ah, the frank discussions between a mother and her son, especially when I had trouble remembering the term, “foreskin.” How could I? However, Nate now knows that he used to have foreskin and now he doesn’t and he doesn’t remember anything about it being removed. He also knows that all Jewish men are circumcised but some other men aren’t.
Jeff’s mother calls this, “TMI.” I call this, “Things he needs to know.”
Well, that was cringe worthy.
Did I mention I stepped on a piece of glass this morning and sliced a hole in my foot? It hurt and there was a trail of little (sometimes big) blood droplets from the bedroom to the bathroom to the computer room. Actually, I broke a pane of glass that was to go over one of my BSC collages, but I guess the cats knocked it over and when I got up to turn off the alarm, “Good Mornnnnnning, Vietnaaaam!” It hurt worse when I got in the shower. It’s hurting right now. Oh, well. So long as I don’t develop MRSA we be aiight.
One of our regulars saw me at the bar on Monday. I spoke to him by name. All I do when I walk up to his table is say hello, fill his water glass, ask if it will be one or two calamari, and his and his companion’s regular. The answer is normally yes. That would be water, keep it coming because he drinks a lot of it, two orders of calamari, two steak salads (mid rare for him and medium for his friend), drop check immediately after serving, and cash him out.
He asked, “What is your name?” I told him and he said, “Good, I want to be able to ask for you when I come in.” He had been served by Whiny that day. Don’t know what happened there. I don’t think she’s waited on him enough to know what his regular meal is and how much he hates being chatted with.
The State Supreme Court Justice who comes in likes a lot of lemon with his water and his steak (salad) should be well done, no pink. Sometimes he eats bread, sometimes not. And he always, always, always makes a freakin’ mess of the sugar caddy. Or you’ll find the empty sweetener packets on the floor along with some other trash. I think he empties his pockets when he sits down… I dunno.
A married couple comes in and he always gets the tuna appetizer first, then a bowl of the French onion soup, and tea. She gets tea and the chicken club salad. Lots of bread. Give him a tea to-go.
I call one of my regulars, “Sherbert,” and he and his wife call me, get this, “Peach.” This all started over a mango/peach/apricot shirt he was wearing one day. It was quite snazzy and I told him he should order the mango-lemongrass sorbet we have to go with it and I mentioned that some of my friends call me Peach. We had a great time and I was quite pleased that they asked me to wait on them the following evening (when I worked the 14 hour shift, yeah, it was their fault *wink*).
I really do love my job. And now that we’ve come full circle, I bid you, “Good night and good luck.”