In the land of personalities, that would be work, you have those moments that stay with you. Like, knowing your male co-workers think you’re “just one of the guys” by farting in front of you. Only outside, not around the food.
Today, one of the evening servers, Slim, was filling in while Whiny, our daytime bartender, flitted off to be in a play. Jay, our aforementioned sous chef, was raising hell with us because we stole bacon off the line to go with the family meal breakfast of french toast, eggs, and fried potatoes. I actually felt a little guilty, although I love bacon.
Jay comes into the room, leaves, then returns with a cup of coffee. He says, “I had to get a cup of coffee, black, like my heart.”
Slim quips, “Well, in that case, it should also be cold.”
I almost peed myself because Jay is very quick-witted but Slim, he beats all of us. I’m not sure if any of you have had friends or co-workers who are gay, but in my experience, they tend to be some of the most quick-witted peeps I’ve come across.
Slim came over to me one day and said, “Did you hear what Slender did? I’m just shocked they didn’t fire him!” Slender is his boyfriend that also works with us. I said that I hadn’t heard anything.
Slim proceeds to tell me of a guest who became quite demanding and ran Slender to death asking for a variety of fruits to accompany her red wine. Finally the lady says, “I’m so sorry, but I just like having a lot of fruit with my wine.”
Slender says, “Well, why don’t you kiss my ass. I hear its a real peach.”
I laughed my ass off, even though it was just a joke. Slim thought that was hilarious.
Later this afternoon, as evening shift was making their way in, Candyman and I were behind the bar talking to a guy he used to work with named Mike. Candyman and Mike are both folliclely challenged and Mike said, “Somebody once told me that the reason I was losing my hair was because my brain was growing and pushing all of the hair out.”
Candyman looked down at the front of his own pants and said, “No, I don’t think he’s any bigger.”
See, this is totally worth being poor.