Yesterday was counseling day at Casa Peach. First T-Bird, then AZ. Yeah, haven’t heard much from those two lately, have you? I suppose those Detroit natives are on some kind of wavelength.
T-Bird’s old man called and said she was having a meltdown and could I come down and soothe the savage beast. Not that it took much soothing, just some well-meaning and well-placed advice, not that she’ll follow it because, as we all know, you can’t tell peeps anything.
AZ is a month out from W-Day. He’s having anger issues again and for some reason he feels as though I have some profound insight into this problem. Actually I do, that’s why he called me and I was honest. He got really quiet a few times and I suppose me telling him that he needs to let the past rest and start fresh with a new marriage, a new wife, and a new attitude had some affect on him. Well, maybe, maybe not, after all, you can’t tell peeps anything, especially him.
AZ and I share at least one difficult fault – the inability to show vulnerability. I pointed this out to him and told him that I got a firm dose of vulnerability and actually allowing people to be there for me when the house burned. Ms. Independent got her ass kicked. I reminded him, again, that there is a difference between being there for someone, someone being there for you, and actually allowing someone to be there for you and that means showing that soft underbelly, which we all know is there anyway, so just come out with it already!
Sometimes I wonder if he holds on to his anger because he’s afraid there’s nothing else inside himself or outside of his constant need to right every wrong with vengeful pride. I told him that even after 15 1/2 years, there are still things I have no idea about, things I really should know about him, and he leaves a lot to inference on the part of what friends he has. He even pointed out he has very few actual friends.
For her part, T-Bird was able to give me some very good insight into myself and future relationships. Actually, she was quite positive about my chances of finding someone that I can find balance with. One thing that has bothered me about my desire for independence, yet also wanting a meaningful relationship, was whether or not I was shooting myself in the foot. I had no (and really don’t have any idea now, just a better picture) of how independence and meaningful go together, since she lives it every day and I’m still trying to wade through the muck.
We also made a list of potential suitors, sorted by job category, that would make good matches for me. Airline pilot, touring musician, long haul trucker, even semi-pro and pro-football, baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer players, blah, blah, blah. Then again, maybe it could just be someone with an interesting, full, independent life like me. I’ll be interested in meeting him in the near future.
The shingle is still out so if anyone has any burning questions for Dear Peach, leave them in the comments and I’ll do my best to provide worthy insight.