The Peach Is In

August 30, 2007 at 1:16 am (AZ, Empathy, Friends, Relationships, T-Bird)

Yesterday was counseling day at Casa Peach. First T-Bird, then AZ. Yeah, haven’t heard much from those two lately, have you? I suppose those Detroit natives are on some kind of wavelength.

 

T-Bird’s old man called and said she was having a meltdown and could I come down and soothe the savage beast. Not that it took much soothing, just some well-meaning and well-placed advice, not that she’ll follow it because, as we all know, you can’t tell peeps anything.

 

AZ is a month out from W-Day. He’s having anger issues again and for some reason he feels as though I have some profound insight into this problem. Actually I do, that’s why he called me and I was honest. He got really quiet a few times and I suppose me telling him that he needs to let the past rest and start fresh with a new marriage, a new wife, and a new attitude had some affect on him. Well, maybe, maybe not, after all, you can’t tell peeps anything, especially him.

 

AZ and I share at least one difficult fault – the inability to show vulnerability. I pointed this out to him and told him that I got a firm dose of vulnerability and actually allowing people to be there for me when the house burned. Ms. Independent got her ass kicked. I reminded him, again, that there is a difference between being there for someone, someone being there for you, and actually allowing someone to be there for you and that means showing that soft underbelly, which we all know is there anyway, so just come out with it already!

 

Sometimes I wonder if he holds on to his anger because he’s afraid there’s nothing else inside himself or outside of his constant need to right every wrong with vengeful pride. I told him that even after 15 1/2 years, there are still things I have no idea about, things I really should know about him, and he leaves a lot to inference on the part of what friends he has. He even pointed out he has very few actual friends.

 

For her part, T-Bird was able to give me some very good insight into myself and future relationships. Actually, she was quite positive about my chances of finding someone that I can find balance with. One thing that has bothered me about my desire for independence, yet also wanting a meaningful relationship, was whether or not I was shooting myself in the foot. I had no (and really don’t have any idea now, just a better picture) of how independence and meaningful go together, since she lives it every day and I’m still trying to wade through the muck.

 

We also made a list of potential suitors, sorted by job category, that would make good matches for me. Airline pilot, touring musician, long haul trucker, even semi-pro and pro-football, baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer players, blah, blah, blah. Then again, maybe it could just be someone with an interesting, full, independent life like me. I’ll be interested in meeting him in the near future.

The shingle is still out so if anyone has any burning questions for Dear Peach, leave them in the comments and I’ll do my best to provide worthy insight.

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9 Comments

  1. Seamus said,

    Isn’t it good to be on the other side of the questions sometimes!? šŸ˜‰

  2. Cootera said,

    I don’t know what’s been up lately, been it ain’t been pretty. Has there been some strange astrological hoo-ha goin’ on? I can’t find any other explanation for the little bombs going off around me…

  3. Mahala said,

    I’ve struggled with the independence vs. relationships thing for a while… it’s not been an actual issue for ages, but I still wonder how I’d balance the two.. if and when pigs ever fly and I get another chance to find out.

  4. Vince said,

    I can relate to anger issues, as I have them too. The only way to get rid of them is to let go of the anger. I find that hard, but dammit it can consume you. At a minimum, I’m trying to not let the anger hold on to me for more than a short while. I could nurse a good pissed off for DAYS. Not healthy for anyone.

    I agree with T-Bird. You can indeed be independent and in a deep relationship. As with everything, it’s all about balance. In a healthy relationship, both people need to take “me” time. What that really means will depend on the people. Some, like you, need do take road trips without the other. For me, it’s my music thing. Whatever works, you know? I agree a touring musician would be a great match for you. How much time during a year do you spend going to see bands?

    I have no burning questions, but if you’d care to enlighten me on the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, it would be most appreciated. Or at a minimum you can tell me how you’re coming in acheiving your new goal. I don’t want to find out about it from some tabloid or something. Oh, and when are you coming north so we might get a chance to hang out?

  5. kenju said,

    I’m here, but I got nothing to question right now, except how am I going to handle mr. kenju when he comes home from the rehab hospital – plus – run my business, see friends, blog, cook, clean, change litter pans, see a little TV and read a book now and hen????

  6. johnnysix said,

    Sometimes it’s nice to have people lean on you for advice and wisdom. After a while it gets old. And sometimes you get too much information, stuff you didn’t need to know!!

    Next thing you know you’re awake all night going WTF???

    8)

  7. Inanna said,

    I don’t know much about the meaning of the universe or things like that, just that we’re here to help each other and find our own meanings. I’ll go north when I get the chance, hopefully after the snow finishes flying again.

    I’m not sure what is going on but it has been a different time of year… I blame it on the heat.

  8. cybele said,

    Have a glass of iced tea. Things look better when you’re drinking iced tea. No, not a soda- that’s filled with chemicals. And put down that cigarette already. Take a breath of clean air once in awhile. Come over to my house; I’ll fix you some eggs and toast.

    T Bird needs your help, and AZ is beyond redemption. You go ahead and be nice to him if it makes you feel good, but that’s just because you’re a decent person.

    A regional trucker would do it for you. I sleep alone four to six nights a week. Wait, that sounds pretty miserable. Oh, right- it is.

    Are you SURE you want someone who’s gone that much?

  9. Boo said,

    When you find mr wonderful see if he has a brother for me ok?

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