Ever Dance With the Devil. . .

June 27, 2007 at 7:01 pm (Beading, Relationships, Work, Writing)

in the pale moonlight?

Why does everything have to hit at once? Why must I be pulled several different ways at once? I guess I work better that way. Maybe.

I’m in the middle of an unscheduled week off. Yeah, the shop is slow this week so… I get to take the week off – without pay. Not exactly what my bank account needed or didn’t need, which ever.

However, it has spurred me to stop sitting around on my ass and start doing something worth crowing about. Like, writing and beading and bugging my other boss for a full-time gig, something with air conditioning and a future.

The writing thing has been both fulfilling and irritating. Irritating because I had made a lot of changes to my novella which were then saved to disk which then burned in the fire and was not saved on the CD that I received from my old job. That was disheartening. Enough so that I’ve once again shelved that particular novella and started writing something fresh and new. No patience.

Beading, also starting something fresh and new and its about time. I’ve made exactly one pair of earrings since January 28th. Kinda scary.

Relationships are no better. I have a date on Friday, did I tell you that? Yeah, I told you that. I like him so far. We spoke again today. He doesn’t bore me, this is good. What isn’t good is that someone else kissed me this week. I mean, the kiss was good. Unexpected but still good and I liked it. He kissed me with Nate here which was a fantastic safety net for him because he’s a chickenshit.

I’d probably be a chickenshit around me too. Can’t say I much blame him. I have this horrible habit of taking what I want and another horrible habit of not saying no. I push every limit. I know this and one would think with the knowledge that I am like this that I would make more of an effort to control it. I am disinclined to do so.

Those who know me and know me well, know this isn’t always the case and I am capable of honor and of saying no.  I didn’t say I liked it, I said I was capable of it. 

I am very aware though that a kiss is just that, a kiss. Nothing more, nothing less. Driving around my block a couple of times late at night when he thinks I can’t see him, well, some may see that as stalking, but its only stalking if you don’t take some evil pleasure from the fact he’s thinking about you, even if he is too chickenshit to do anything about it because he knows I would.

And the games continue…

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12 Comments

  1. Vince said,

    What a tangled web we weave.

    What need of fiction have you? Just write about your life. There’s enough in it to write volumes. Hell, if you were a fictional character, I’d read every book written about you.

    And be nice to the boys. Most of them aren’t strong enough to stand up to you. Leave them a little dignity if you can.

  2. Old Horsetail Snake said,

    I got to thinking about the URL of this piece and remembered that I saw several black punkins at a nursery not far from here. Also some were blue…..

  3. Pand0ra Wilde said,

    When it rains, it pours.

  4. Inanna said,

    Vince, I have incorporated a lot of my life in the next fiction piece, just with a much happier ending. I’ll send you the first chapter when it’s finished. I do leave them with dignity, at least I try, I try very hard to be gentle.

    Hoss, you found black punkins?? Oh, I want a black punkin! Wonder if it ships well… doubtful.

    Pandora, and the droughts are worse than the one we’re having.

  5. Julie said,

    Well doll, if it gets you back into the crafting and creativity, it can’t all be bad. Just somewhat bad.

    Pictures of what you’re beading lately? Pleez?

  6. Lois Lane said,

    Here’s hoping the raining and pouring subside for you soon! Have I mentioned how thrilled I am to be out of the dating game??? Good luck my friend!

  7. Inanna said,

    Julez, I’ll post pics as soon as I can. Mainly necklaces and earrings right now.

    LOIS! MUAH! Be very thrilled you’re out of the dating game! Thanks for the luck and if it’s pouring money, just keep it coming!

  8. cybele said,

    Oh, you. Sigh.

    How’s Pitts? (If the Peach has a Peeves, it must be named Pitts.)

  9. Inanna said,

    Oh Belle, I know, I’m incorrigible. Pitts is bored and really hasn’t taken to bouncing around much lately. Great name though.

  10. se7en said,

    Watch out for those kisses now! Good luck on the dating gig! Sounds like you had a good time in D.C. 🙂

  11. Catt said,

    Hope the date went well and you had fun!

    I can’t believe you have only made 1 pair of earrings since January! Understandable, but unlike you.

  12. Inanna said,

    Se7en, yep, those kisses will get ya, but sometimes, other things do too.

    Catt, the date went well, we had fun, but… anyway, I lied, I made a pendant as well, but not to sell.

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