I’m out of the apartment on May 31st. The beds, if I’m lucky, will be delivered on June 1st. If not, well, I’ll be sleeping on my big couch and Nate will be sleeping on the loveseat. We have a roof over our head, there will be food, and running water. Better than camping.
I’ve been pretty damn busy packing what I can and making plans. Plus, I took off for OH Friday afternoon for the Black Stone Cherry show, which kicked ass, of course. Got home at 4:30 that morning. Totally worth it, even though I got two phone calls, one before the show, and one during the show, from WV. Neither of which was good.
Nate and I have ended up in the middle of the turf war between Jeff and Nate’s half-sister’s mom. Both of them are right, and both of them are wrong. Real easy to see when you’re standing on the outside looking in. Both think I have some kind of control over the other. If I did, none of this would be happening.
Jeff called me around 1:00 today (Sunday) wanting to know if I wanted to pick up Nate early. I said, “If you want me to.” I heard a slight tell-tale slur in his words and he asked me to pick him up around 4:00. Okay. But, he called at three and said I needed to come pick him up then. Okay.
He was so drunk he could barely put one word in front of the other.
Having a face-to-face encounter with Jeff while he’s drinking is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get. He might be belligerent and verbally abusive. Or, like this afternoon, he was just so drunk he couldn’t even stand up or speak coherently. I’m surprised he was able to dial the phone. I wished I had picked Nate up at one.
Nate and I had a talk and finally, FINALLY, he said, “Mom, noooobody likes it when Daddy drinks.” When I asked why he didn’t say something before he said he didn’t want his dad to think that he didn’t want to see him, Nate just doesn’t want to see him while his dad is drinking. Thank you, Nate.
Unlike Danlel’s mom, who puts it off on her 13 year-old daughter to deal with her father directly, I’ll deal with Jeff. Nate loves his dad, regardless of his faults, and it’s taken Nate a long time to get to this point. I’m sure I’ll hear that I’m trying to poison Nate against him and all that bullshit. Fact is, Jeff should be grateful that his kids want to see him at all.
On May 27th, I’ll have my 3rd Blogiversary. A diary of my life. On that first day, I said this about Jeff, “. . . there’s a Made-For-TV-Movie, just waiting to happen . . . no need to spoil the fun ahead of time.” On June 23rd, I posted a quote: “We are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4am of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget.” — Joan Didion
That is one of the truest statements ever made. Except, I’m never given the chance to forget, because it keeps repeating itself. And, I keep coming up with new and inventive ways to deal with it. My best good friend T-Bird told me Friday night, as I called bitching from OH about this situation, “Girl, you are a strong woman, strong in ways that you don’t even realize.”
I propose a trade-off. I’ll work on realizing all the ways that I’m strong that I don’t realize, if someone would just take away the reason to be strong to start with.
Monday, May 21, 2007 (My Half-Birthday)
I talked to Jeff this morning and calmly laid it out for him. His kids love him, they want to be with him, but not while he’s drinking. Not any of them, not even Nate. He knows he has a problem, we all know he has a problem, but that’s what it is… his problem. We didn’t cause it, we can’t cure it, and we can’t control it, that is up to him.
He didn’t have much to say, other than, “Drinking all that liquor didn’t change a thing.”
I said, “Except your liver enzymes.” Continuing to call it like I see it. Just another service I offer.
In other news, the connections on my stove are leaking gas. I didn’t notice it until I turned the air conditioning on and circulated the air. This will be fixed tomorrow or else.
I haven’t heard about my contractor replacing my chair. This will be fixed tomorrow or else.
We went to pick up our new cat, Jack, today. The lady chose not to show up, precipitating a call from me in which she informed me that they decided to keep him. Thanks for the phone call, bitch, and thanks so much for disappointing my son, especially after me telling you how important this cat was and how much he was looking forward to getting Jack. A pox on ye.
Regardless, we still have a cat named Jack. An acquaintance had approached me last week about some kittens she had and I declined due to getting the other Jack. I drove out to her place after our aborted attempt and Nate picked out a new Jack, who was just laying between Nate’s legs, sprawled out on his back. Spoiled already!
Macy and Hermione have sniffed the newest invader with minimal hissing and with increased affection for Mom. They are, without a doubt, two of the most JEALOUS cats I’ve ever had. Upon seeing the new arrival, Macy got up on the couch with me and laid down, which is an extremely rare occurrence. When I started petting her, she nipped me several times, as if to say, “Look, don’t get friendly lady, I’m just here to show Junior that I’m your favorite and he can just stay on the floor.” I was reading, “Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover’s Soul” and found a quote that said, “In Ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods. They have not forgotten this.” Amen.