Okay, Now I Have A Computer

March 8, 2007 at 12:56 am (Attitude in Overdrive, The House)

And what a sweet setup this jobby is. 22” inch flat monitor that I can read from across the room. It’s moveable, hell, I can sit it on the bed if I want, which I might just do. I almost threw a fit today when I thought it was someone else’s. Yeah, real close to that hissy fit line.

I’m walking that hissy fit line a lot these days.

I talked to my mom this evening and I was telling her about being at the house yesterday and I was just overwhelmed with everything. I looked at the spot by the door where I had found Ozzy and then over to the place where the curio used to sit and remembered I had found Cali there. The more the house starts to look like my house, instead of a burned out piece of shit, the more it reminds me of what I lost.

My mom said, “That’s called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.”


She also said, “I don’t know how you’ve done all the things you’ve done. You must have been running on adrenaline this entire time and now that you have more time to stop and think, it’s really starting to sink in and hit you now.”

Who knew? My mother had an accurate, insightful comment to make. Maybe I’ve underestimated her all these years. And she even did it without sounding condescending or authoritative.

I appreciate how everyone is continuing to remind me of what a basket case I really am on the inside. Trust me, lots of things are Tommyknocking around in there, and a lot of it ain’t pretty.

I just want to enjoy my new Dell and thank the computer gods that it came today and I didn’t throw a hissy and no one died. I’ll try not to think of how I would be just as happy with my 8 year old Gateway with illegal upgrades and really, flat screens are pretty useless because kitties can’t lay on top of them. Not like 8 year old Gateway behemoth monitors.

I’m not in a very grateful mood right now. I’m in a pretty nasty, cranky, crappy mood. Nope, not feeling very grateful to have a roof over my head that has other people walking around on it. Nanner lives in Poverty Virginia, we don’t live in apartments, we live in mo-bile homes! I never even lived in a dorm in college ya’ll! This bullshit of not being able to sit and listen to music in my computer room is enough to drive me insane.

Today, is an angry day.



  1. Zelda said,

    It sounds like the kidney stone is right at the entrance to the urethra.

    (Just let me know if I’m going overboard on the kidney stone theme).

  2. noonie said,

    sheesh Zelda now my toes have curled in on themselves… Nanner anger is good too… Nate just remember it’s an amazon WISH list … grin

  3. Liz said,

    As noonie said, Anger is part of healing so get mad a hell. Congrats on the new puter. I bet it rocks. *hugs*

  4. Foundme said,

    I’m glad your angry, it’s a progress of sorts. Feel it, girl. Here’s to new computers that can help you express your anger!

  5. Serra said,

    It’d be weird if you weren’t mad Nanner–so let it rip when you find somewhere you can just dump it all.

  6. kenju said,

    I’d be loving that new computer. A 22″ screen? I’d be in Heaven!

  7. boo said,

    Vent here whenever you want. This is the safe zone.

    Take care of you.

  8. restless angel said,

    Anger is good.

  9. Vince said,

    Damn, I only got a 21″ LCD at work. I’m having monitor envy.

    No need to apologize. Sure, you should count your blessings, but anger is valid as well. You got as much to be angry about as to be thankful about. Soon the balance should tip and you’ll be more thankful and less angry.

  10. Ashley said,

    If today is an angry day then allow me to be angry with you.

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