The Water-Gatorade-Breakfast-Food-Cherry-and-Other-Fruit-Vegas Diet – The First 12 Hours

December 5, 2006 at 5:34 pm (Beading, Black Stone Cherry, Crazy Shit, My Travels)

Guaranteed to melt five pounds in four days…

I drove to Pittsburgh Friday afternoon along the mountains and ridges of WV and PA buffeted by 50-60 mph wind gusts. Also talked to Jeff, who was a little loopy on pain medication because he threw his back out or maybe he just felt like it. I should have known…

United is always on time, thank you Lord and Lady. Their food sucks. Really sucks. About 45 minutes outside of Denver, Nanner woke from a peaceful slumber to find herself in a cold sweat yet burning up, dizzy, disoriented, wondering how she could possibly be airsick, having flown thousands of miles in her lifetime and having never experienced airsickness, causing her to remove her coat, and then to reach up to turn the air on, which then caused her to pass out and (since Vince wants all of the embarrassing details), then violently expectorate the contents of her stomach onto herself.

That’s a nice way of saying I passed out and puked my guts up on Flight 447.

I wrote that in third person because then it seems less real that this was the beginning of my trip and I was suddenly sick. Very sick, of yes, I was a very sick Peach. The angels of Flight 447 (one particular stewardess, my two seat mates, the lady across the aisle, and one gentleman who I have no idea who he was), who helped me clean up and who graciously gave me, yes, GAVE ME, clothing to wear for the rest of the flight and who didn’t yell and scream that I just puked beside of them and just gave everyone a royal send-off.

After arriving in Denver, wandering like a lost child, I managed to find the smoking lounge where I received a Sprite.

On the flight to Las Vegas, my seat mate faired better, as there was a seat between us and he wanted nothing to do with the pale, sickly looking blonde, curled up in the fetal position, belching and moaning into a barf bag for the duration of the flight. I’m sure the women who shared the bathroom facilities with me at McCarren International following my flight were as equally disgusted by my retching as I was.

I’m certain that my continued sickness through the night up to the 4 a.m. insanity which marked the end of violent expectorations (from both ends by this time… since Vince wants ALL the embarrassing details) may have been overlooked by those in Building E of the Circus Circus Manor rooms, leaving the Peach with at least one shred of dignity for her remaining hours in Sin City (but none here of course.)

The previous night, an employee of the adjacent campground had tipped me off that directly behind my building was a general store and a laundry. There is a KOA campground at Circus Circus. This, I shall always remember, because it means, “LAUNDRY FACILITY.” After sucking down 20 ounces of water, twice the amount of Gatorade, a banana, and napping for two hours, I trudged back to wash my clothes, twice. After drying my clothes, I went back to my room and slept some more. Still, when I awoke it was only 2:00, so I took a cab to the bead store, or what I thought was the bead store I wanted. It wasn’t. Pissed off that I had spent that amount on a cab, I began walking and walking and walking.

Again, I wandered, for 40 years in a vast desert, or, maybe it was Polaris or Industrial, odd names for a desert, until the shining mecca of Bethlehem, no it was a Mirage, appeared, and I hailed a camel, I mean, taxi, back to the Big Top. I went up to see my friends, Kim and Matt, and then went downstairs to see about the Haunted Las Vegas tour, bought a ticket, went back to the KOA grocery and bought cereal and milk, went back to my room, ate two bowls of Frosted Flakes, then had another shower and another nap, this in addition to the four showers I had already taken and the two naps because showers and naps are good.

I can’t remember what temperature it was in my room when I arrived but each time it was unsatisfactory. I kept the temp at either 60 or 70, and if it was 60, I wanted it 70, if it was 70, I wanted it 60. Sickness does that to you.

Next up…. Haunted Las Vegas

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9 Comments

  1. Vince said,

    Thanks for all the details! Nothing like a little public embarrassment to make one feel better.

    However, you have a great deal of my sympathy. No one should have to be that sick on a plane, or on vacation. It’s also good to know there are still nice people out there.

  2. kenju said,

    That’s a horrible way to have to travel. I am sorry you were sick. I once flew across the country from CA with intestinal flu and was in the bathroom nearly the whole flight. I can sympathize with you and you were lucky to have such understanding and nice cabinmates.

  3. Jeanette said,

    Holy crap! That’s a horrible way to fly. A surprise puking? On an airplane? Oh man, Nanner, I’m so sorry. I wonder what the hell caused it?

    I was sick once on a flight with a crazy-ass fever, sucked ice chips from California to Oklahoma. That was fun, but not as “fun” as your flight sounded.

    I do appreciate the temperature reportings because I was curious.

    Hope you’re feeling better?

  4. Seamus said,

    That must’ve been horrible – to be sick and be on a plane. I hope the remaining time in Vegas made up for it!!! 🙂

  5. Inanna said,

    Vince, I have never been more shocked at what my body can accomplish without my consent. And yes, thank goodness for the kindness of strangers.

    Kenju, my cabinmates were very sympathetic and the stewardess said, “Oh, it happens all the time.” I thought, NOT TO ME! Intestinal flu on a cross country flight = no fun.

    Jeanette, either it was the snackbox I bought in-flight or something I picked up before I got onboard. No idea. I’m feeling fairly “normal” this morning, finally.

    Seamus, actually, it did.

  6. LisaBinDaCity said,

    Yuck! Poor you!

    FYI, for future reference, (and hopefully you well never need it,) Coke settles an upset tummy. Not diet, the real stuff. My pediatrician swore by it and she was right.

  7. Crypto said,

    Never fun. But, to be sick while at Circus Circus (a hotel/casino that my wife will not only not let us stay at, but we cannot even go into because of some childhood memory) is worse. Vegas is not exactly the most helpful for a sick person. I’m glad you are feeling better.

    And you are going to have to explain haunted Las Vegas. The town hasn’t been there long enough for anything to happen. New Orleans….check. East Coast towns…check. Vegas? Not really.

  8. Susanne said,

    Oh Nanners 😦 Im so sorry you were sick – Im glad things get better with this story!! Cant wait to hear =)

  9. Inanna said,

    LisaB. – I’ve always used Sprite or 7UP but have also heard that Coke is good. I think it has more to do with the carbonation than anything in the drinks themselves.

    Crypto, actually I found Vegas quite nice for a sick person, as long as I was in my room. And, well, Vegas has quite a history even though its not that old.

    Susanne, I think the story gets better. At least for me it did.

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