You Can’t Make This Shit UP!

September 24, 2006 at 1:46 am (Crazy Shit)

T-Bird has this shitty car. Half the time it won’t start and it definitely can’t take a hill worth a damn, bad thing when you live in WV. The temporary tags have been on it for two years because the dude who sold them the car skipped town without a forwarding address. So… no way to get it legal because it wasn’t in their name.

Tonight, at 10:34, she called me, “CANYOUCOMEDOWNHERE?”


“Can. You. Come. Down. Here?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Bob took the car to (local convenience store) and someone STOLE IT!”

Oh fuck. Since the car is cantankerous and won’t start sometimes, Bob parked it at the front of the store with the engine still running and someone stole it. Yeah. And please, keep in mind, we live in a pretty low crime area… just not something that happens to a 10 year old car.

She was worried about the temp tags etc., etc., and I told her, “Call the police.”

So, I packed up my little dude and off we went, the whole MILE down the road. She took my car to (local convenience store) and within five minutes she was back. The store clerk told her they had found the car already and the police had come by and picked up Bob.

Ten minutes later, Bob pulls up in the car. Seems the guy that stole it was driving a bit erratically and the police were BEHIND HIM when the BOLO went out. (BOLO = be on the lookout for…). They pulled him over about a mile from my place. They also found out the car IS in their name. How that happened we’ll never know AND… the stupid drunk car thief? He had two 22 ouncers in the front seat, unopened.


So, T-Bird got her car back, Bob and I shared the beer, and some drunk car thief is wishing he’d just stayed home tonight.


  1. Tina said,

    Dude that is SO redneck! LMAO!

  2. Foundme said,

    So, getting your car stolen: good!

    Yay, I”m so leaving my car running at the grocery store now for FREE BEER!

  3. Jen said,

    I wish someone would steal my car! And I hope they never find it too.


  4. Inanna said,

    Yeah, Beanie, the whole scenario just screams “REDNECK!”

    Jamie, just don’t leave your kids in there…

    LOL! Jen, I know a couple of people who could say that!

  5. kenju said,

    You can’t make that stuff up, so I know it must be true. They have to find out how the car got in their names!

  6. Jethro said,


  7. Celti said,

    bwaaahahahaha! That’s classic.

  8. charmed said,


  9. Ashley said,

    That’s hilarious!!

  10. Vince said,

    Sounds like a win/win for everyone involved. Well, except for the stupid drunk car thief. But you got free beer out of it!

  11. Lois Lane said,

    As T-Bird’s Life Turns. I love it! BOLO for the next installment of Nanner’s friend. LOL!

  12. restless angel said,

    You know you’re a redneck when….. LOL

    Oh, Black Stone Cherry…. have their CD. If they ever play somewhere my way, I’d so go see ’em 🙂

  13. LisaBinDaCity said,

    That thief is a good candidate for “The Darwin Awards,” aka too stupid to live 😉

  14. Jeanette said,

    When reality is stranger than fiction. Or something like that! 🙂

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