The Fourteen Years War – 1995 – Volume III

June 28, 2006 at 6:15 am (Uncategorized)

Another Haunted Trail came and went. So did the due date for my period. My bronchitis came back, worse than ever. On November 3rd, I went to my doctor. Before prescribing any antibiotics, I had to have a blood test done since my period was late (and my boobs were sore and I was exhausted). As I walked to his office for the results, I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t pregnant. Right. The doctor broke it to me gently. He said I had options. I fired back, “I’m not having an abortion.” He smiled and said, “I’m glad.” He referred me to an OB-GYN.

I called Jeff when I got back to the office. He knew what was going on and he asked what the doctor said, “It’s not good,” was my reply. I think I cried for the next nine months. Jeff met me at my place as I took the rest of the day off work. He mentioned abortion and I shut him down too. I was fearful of telling my family especially, but more fearful of Jeff. He had always told me if I got pregnant he would push me down a flight of stairs and I took him seriously. To me, that was my baby and no one was taking it away from me. He looked at me and said, “It’s a boy.” I shot back, “I know!”

A little over a month after we found out, Jeff got ripped at an office party and showed up at my place. It was the last time we ever had sex.

AZ’s response when I told him about the baby was very controlled. He wanted to know if Jeff had moved in with me and I said, “No. He lied about that.” Then AZ wanted to know if I had told my mother. Somehow, he has a way of knocking me upside the head without ever touching me. “No, I’m waiting to make sure nothing happens to the baby. No use getting them all upset for nothing.” He was not amused. Frankly, neither was I.

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