What If…?

February 26, 2006 at 10:34 pm (Uncategorized)

After doing more research into dyslexia, I’m wondering if Nate is even ADHD at all. A lot of the same symptoms apply. Nate grasps mathematical concepts very easily, yet hates writing anything on paper. He knows the answer, yet doesn’t show his work. There are more and more things. The trouble with time, disorganization, social problems, daydreaming, inability to concentrate, etc.

I ordered the recommended book and read all of the comments from other buyers. The vast majority were positive. I’ve ordered so many damn books. I’ve looked into so many resources. I found you can do a similar program to do at home that the lady is offering for $2500.00. Might as well give it a try.

Jeff saw the price tag on the class and immediately pooh-poohed its effectiveness. Of course, it wasn’t him presenting the material, and it wasn’t his idea, so it has no merit. He didn’t even read the materials on the signs and symptoms of dyslexia. We already KNOW Nate has dysgraphia and although he reads well and grasps that math easily, what if this is the key?

WHAT IF THIS IS THE KEY??? Maybe it’s not. Maybe there is no key, just like there’s no fucking spoon. But, fuck, you don’t give up. You don’t look at a bright, brilliant, funny, creative child and say, “Sorry kid. I give up.” You don’t. You keep looking for the key. Maybe there’s more than one key. Maybe there are so many doors to open. But you have to keep looking, you have to keep trying.

It’s more than just… whatever, it’s an intuition. I look at Nate and I feel it. I feel this incredible longing inside of him to break free, to succeed, to learn how to overcome, to just be happy with who he is.

What others see as a disability, can actually be turned around to be empowering. If it wasn’t for the Leonardo De Vincis, the Albert Einsteins, the Thomas Edisons, where would we be today? Okay, minus an atom bomb, I’ll give you that one.

I’m weary. I’m so very tired. As of April 1st, I will no longer have a job, unless, I get a new one. The employment ads are bleak. But maybe, this coasting time period is the period I need to concentrate on Nate. I’m like a cat. I always land on my feet, especially if you drop me from a high enough place.

I will land on my feet. I will take Nate with me. I will never stop looking for the key.

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