Porch Time II

November 10, 2005 at 10:36 am (Uncategorized)

What do you get when you cross one irritated, frustrated, and exhausted paralegal/writer/mother with one irritated, frustrated, and vindictive DJ/business owner/real estate agent? Um… porch time. Says so, riiiight up there.

After a day of higher humidity and 75 degree temps, it cooled off quickly to a brisk 55 degrees. It felt so good. For 2 ½ hours there was a great deal of back rubbing, snickering, sighing, knife/gun/machete/sword yielding, laughing, growling, lamenting, and songs with only a tune and the word “fuck.”

We dispensed with the, “So, whose life sucks yak balls worse right now?” And commenced on a bitchfest. Then reminisced about our 13 ½ years as friends, each being a remembrancer (that is a word) for certain periods and certain things that either we’ll never forget or wish to G-d the other one would. Then we bitched some more and I vented a great deal of frustration upon the muscles in his back.

First Lesson Learned: Frustration is better vented when given the ability to attempt to hurt someone with their permission.

First Reminder: AZ is more vindictive than me and T-Bird combined. He’s the only man I know who is more vindictive than any woman I know, even T-Bird, and she’s pretty damn vindictive.

For example – AZ was at a local watering hole for Monday Night Football when some yahoos broke the antennae off of his car and scratched his hood with it. Although he walked up on the scene a few moments later, he was unable to prove the yahoos did it. Yet, those same yahoos have been suspected of other acts of vandalism, just couldn’t prove it. Apparently following a scene in the parking lot where AZ channeled Attila the Hun or my favorite, Vlad the Impaler, the yahoos decided there may be more safety in numbers and retreated to the bar.

Our story does not stop there children. Oh, far from it. After brewing and stewing in beer and his own juices for the evening, when said yahoos stumbled out of the bar for their trek home, they were followed. Now the person who pretty well knew they had defaced his automobile and the automobile of another person, knew where they lived.

I’m sorry children. Our story must stop here. If I told you the rest of the story I would have to kill you. Please, allow your imaginations to run wild and remember, there are still 9 weeks of football left. Me thinks some yahoos will not be messing with cars anymore.

And after much snorting, wheezing, gasping, huddling, and laughing, AZ bid adios. I think, for both of us, its exactly what the doctor ordered.

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