Questions Without Answers… Only Faith

August 31, 2005 at 8:35 pm (Uncategorized)

In response to my last post, Kristin wrote: I question my faith when I hear stories like this. How can a caring and loving God do that to an innocent child? How? Trevor is in my prayers.

She touched on something I have thought about numerous times and have even thought to blog about but have deferred. Deferred because it touches on the deepest mystery of our lives – why are we here?

Another question along that same line is: Why do bad things happen to good people and vice versa?

I don’t have an answer for that, only a theory.

I am a woman of faith. Its not a mainstream faith and although I have blogged about religion and my religion, this touches a bit deeper and transcends many faiths.

Kristin’s question I can answer in my own way. Its not scientific at all. Its based on what I’ve read, what I’ve experienced, and something deeper within myself which is difficult to explain.

I’ve blogged about my experiences with spirits and they figure into it as well, and a bit of common sense.

First, no life is wasted on this Earth. While we may see people who have wasted their lives, their life has served a purpose. One theory is that our souls chose their experiences before they descend to Earth so as to gain more and more experience and eventually achieve “nirvana.” I can see this in people. The “old souls” and the “young souls.” I am an old soul yet have met souls older than mine. The young souls are annoying and naive. They’re easily lead and you just want to throttle them. That would be Nate.

And so you may say, “So, I chose to get cancer?” “I chose to have a special needs child?” I chose to be childless?” “I chose this life?” No. Your soul did.

Look back over your life and the things that have happened, either good or bad, which have changed you. I mean, really changed you. How did you grow? Do you still have growing to do?

Another theory is that we pick our parents, biological or not. Think about the process of finding out you will never have a biological child and then the process of adoption. What would one go through? How do people change and grow in these circumstances? What about the child? And his or her biological parents? How did they get where they are? What lessons came from that? Was the child given up at birth? Was the child in a foster family? What about that family? How was their lives changed by that child?

You begin to see the interconnectedness of our lives, our experiences, and how it shapes and molds us. How it guides us and how we learn and indeed, grow as human beings. Without these experiences, we would not grow or learn anything.

This is why I encourage people to face their lives this time around. Whatever mistake we have not learned from we are doomed to repeat. Ever meet someone like that? Who refuses to acknowledge mistakes they’ve made, people they’ve hurt, any culpability in damaging others? Its our responsibility to learn from them as well.

My experiences are varied and I stopped regretting the things I have done and instead decided to learn from them. To learn from the people in my life. How the relationships have affected me, changed me, and I’ve learned how to deal with loss. That is through faith.

I believe in a higher power. I believe that on the other side of the veil, lives those that I have loved. I was watching a dramatization of the life of James Van Praagh. In it, a man was in the hospital room, his living relatives around him when a golden retriever bounded into the room and he sat up in the bed and petted the dog and then got out of the bed and when he turned the corner, there were all of the people who had gone before him waiting on him, welcoming him to the other side. It brought tears to my eyes because, deep in my heart, in my mind’s eye, I know that’s what it will be like.

I’m not sure if any of that made sense or if you caught my drift.

Kristin, I can’t speak for God or any other higher being. I don’t believe that Trevor’s family sees it that way at all. When Trevor is gone, they won’t ask why God made Trevor the way he/she did, they will know why. They will be able to look at their lives and see how this little boy changed them, helped them grow, and showed them how to love unconditionally. And when Trevor crosses over, he will also know that despite his disabilities, the hardships and pain, that he made a difference in the lives he touched. Family, friends, doctors, nurses, social workers, and even you.

Whether any of you accept my explanation is, of course, up to you. But I hope I at least gave you something to think about.

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