Me. Oh. My.

June 30, 2005 at 10:10 am (Uncategorized)

So, I found some guy skulking around my car this morning. I’m not sure if it was my car he was looking at. (That was one of Jeff’s gripes, my car was junky) I cleaned part of it out yesterday but its been so dang hot and humid its hard to sit in a car long enough to clean it out so I started late in the evening and didn’t get finished.

Maybe the guy wanted my garbage. Yeah, that’s incriminating evidence… yard clippings, the corners of non-eaten PB&Js in sandwich bags, wrappers from my sweets addiction, water bottles, milk bottles, petrified french fries, various and sundry papers of no incriminating value… those meth cookers got nuttin on me!

I noticed that my saw is missing. It may be behind the house for one reason or another or the cats might have knocked it off of the porch and its beside of it. Or someone just stole it. I have to use that saw to cut the waterbed headboard in half so the garbage men can haul it off. Oh well, I’ll go buy another one!

I’ve been praying a lot lately, even before this fiasco came about. I’ve felt the need to be closer to my Goddess. I pray for strength and protection and direction. I can’t do everything myself and as depressed as I have been lately I’ve needed a bit more of a boost. The novella idea was one thing but getting my house in order is something I have definitely been wanting to do and had already started before this.

I work to find balance between helping myself and allowing myself to be helped, whether it be a physical entity or a spiritual one. Right now, ha ha ha, I’m not one much for physical entities. I wouldn’t let the President of the United States in my yard right now. Oh, wait, I don’t trust him anyway. Okay, maybe the Pope, nevermind… that whole witch burning thing… yeah don’t trust him either.

Oh yeah, Jeff called this morning at 12:21 but before I could answer he hung up. *sigh*

Perhaps its silly to worry, but what if and I mean ‘WHAT IF’ something would go wrong at my house, as in, Jeff would get on one of his drunks and come to my house? Supposedly he has his “friends” on my town’s police department. Could I even trust my own police officers to be fair? Can I in any way trust my police? Don’t think I don’t know all about the blue wall and the blue this and the blue that.

My spirits have a way about them though. I had to watch the phones again yesterday from 4-5. I was soooo sleepy and I only meant to lay my head down for a minute… but yeah, I fell asleep at the front desk. I couldn’t have been asleep longer than 10-15 minutes.

Though if its any indication how sleepy I was I immediately fell into REM and I was dreaming… that I was asleep (which signifies that I’m in a peaceful period in my life) and I was in a hotel (which signifies I need to find a new way to deal with an old problem) but I heard knocking at the door and I could see that it was T-Bird and Jeff knocking (The knocking signifies my subconscious is trying to attract my attention to some aspect of myself or to some waking situation. A new opportunity – or money – may be presented to me – from http://www.myjellybean.com) Amazing relevance to my situation, don’t you think?

Maybe just a follow up of what happened Tuesday. Things are stirring. The spirits are awakening. Can you feel it?

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