An Air Of Mystery

June 16, 2005 at 11:12 am (Uncategorized)

I used to be a gusher. I was Tom Cruise and his-disgusting-display-of- gushiness-over- Katie-Holmes personified. Its great to be that “in” to someone. Love is fantastic and falling in love with someone is indeed a wonderful experience. This time … I’ve pretty well kept my mouth shut. I haven’t even said a whole lot here.

I attribute that to the lack of anxiety, no need to k’vetsh and k’vitsh about what a k’vatsh I had tangled myself up with. I’ve even surprised myself with my lack of gushing. Its much more fun to watch everyone around me try to pull it out of me. My boss is especially antsy to know the details which are slow in coming. I’ve only reassured him that I’m not suddenly going to pull anchor and move across the country. Although I have to admit the anchor is not quite as strong as it was two weeks ago and is slowly working itself free.

Having had to out myself and il mio amore to my parents wasn’t nearly as traumatic as I had envisioned. Of course they haven’t gotten me face to face yet. Makes no difference really. I’m 34 years old, I think I can make sound, logical decisions for myself and Nate. Not that anyone in my family will for two seconds believe that selling my house and moving lock, stock, and barrel across the United States to a place that I only have one aunt (HA! Family… SEEE!!!) and blogger friends is in anyway responsible, sound, or logical.

Nate is my enigma. I told him that I was searching for apartments etc. and I reminded him that its not set in stone and told him he would only be seeing his dad during summers/holidays, would that bother him? He answered my question with another question, as in, what about his sister? Couldn’t she and her mom move with us? It seems like he’s growing up so fast.

He is loving summer camp!!! I am so glad I did this. I’ve never seen him happier and he’s got the little Indian glow. One of our kittens died (this was Ireland’s litter that I haven’t even mentioned before now) and he and I had already accepted that she wasn’t going to make it. Little Bit #4 was a very pretty calico and I buried her yesterday evening. The other kittens seem to be okay for now, but Nate held up Little Bit #1, the one that had the seizure, and said, “I think he’s next.” *Sad face*

Nate is a Cancer child of Scorpio parents. Jeff and I both are very intuitive with deep emotions, and persistent and complex personalities. Nate is very persistent, and I can see the intuition waking up in him and he is very, very complex. Its Nate who grasped the idea of California and took off with it. I’ve mentioned moving to five or six states and as many countries in the past couple years and the only ones that Nate agreed whole-heartedly on were California and Egypt.

Nate and I both have a fascination with the pyramids, pharaohs, King Tut, etc. Of course, we’ve traced back ancestors to Northern Africa but I believe everyone can trace back to Africa, and should whether you believe the Bible or Darwinism. There’s enough evidence to support it, not to mention the Fertile Crescent nearby. I just like the jewelry… of course.

Anyway, its all nice to be effusive and overflowing like a volcano, but I’ve also realized that sometimes that’s all it is. That’s not to imply that this normally close-lipped star is not truly and wonderfully in love with Katie nor that their love is somehow tainted due to the uberblabbing they have done but I can guarantee, regardless of sofa jumps and hand pumps, Scientology and creepy new BFF’s named Jessica, Tom and Katie aren’t any happier than I am.

They’re not any happier than any of you when you’re in love. Just because they can smile for the cameras and have their affections and lip-locks in every rag mag on this side of the Atlantic (the other side gets them next week), doesn’t make their love any more or less real than mine or yours. I’ve just learned to be a bit more quiet about it.

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