Dimension – Part 2

April 27, 2005 at 9:45 pm (Uncategorized)

Death. It has preoccupied my mind lately and I have wondered why. Because I’m boarding a jet plane on Friday? I’ve wondered and wondered and wondered. I even gave instructions to a very trusted friend and blogger, and now two, on what to do should I not make it to my destination. That’s scary isn’t it? What’s scarier is knowing I will indeed look death in the face. As I have looked it in the face numerous times this year.

I’m talking about a tarot sort of death. The Death card.

Image by Dorothy Krause

Death is the 13th card of the Major Arcana and corresponds to the astrological sign of Scorpio. Small wonder. The Death card is sometimes called Transformation as well. It is the card of rebirth. When I see the Death card in a reading, I am well aware that change is afoot. Part of me, or the person I’m reading, will die. They will shed some part of their skin and be reborn.

I can honestly say, were I to pick one card to represent my year, from May 27, 2004, until today, and up until May 27, 2005, the Death card has been MY card. I do feel reborn. As though I creep closer and closer to the person I truly want to be.

However, its this card, The Tower, which causes the confusion and trepidation.

Image by Dorothy Krause

Its number 16 and is ruled by the planet Mars, the ruling planet also of Scorpio. I dread this card. The Tower means upheaval, re-evaluation, necessary change yet that change is dramatic and sudden. But… what to think when it appears in a reading in a very positive position. The position of “what is going for you.” Not that the Tower can’t be a positive card, it can be. It can show us that this shocking moment can and will create new opportunities and make us stronger and wiser. Change is essential or we stagnate.

I talked to Celti about the Tower being in this strange position. Most of the time its in either the “past,” “near future,” or “distant future” positions, not a position in which the connotation is so positive. Ugh, so confusing! I’ve pondered the meaning over and over, as I have not pondered a meaning before. If I have pondered in the past, it is because I was too stubborn to accept the interpretation. Especially when the cards have spelled out how my own desires have clouded my judgment and warned me that it would end in ruin, destruction, and devastation. It has happened every time. No matter how much I imposed my will for it not to.

Does the card mean, in the position of what I have going for me, that I simply weather the upheavals of life well? Is this tenacity being pointed out to me to show that change is good, even dramatic change? Is it to remind me that even as I approach one thing in life that means so much to my heart, that I am not finished? That it is not time to become complacent and change must continue to endure? Or… is it to tell me that I am a catalyst for change to others? That I should not underestimate or devalue my impact on those around me?

Or is it? All the above? I am certain of one thing. I will find out and when I do, I will die and be reborn. Yet, I am also cognizant of what Phoebe wrote today (how thankful I am to the timeliness of this), that our “perceptions do not define Truth” and no matter how certain we are, certainty is subject to forces much bigger than certainty itself. Just another reminder that change continues, whether we allow it to swirl around us or sweep us up and away. Whether we instigate it or resist it. Whether it is welcome or dreaded.

Change is upon us.

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