The Nate Update

January 27, 2005 at 8:51 pm (Uncategorized)

I came by and everything had changed, who’s blog was this anyway? Kick ass post btw!

Thanks Sean and glad to see you. I’ll swing by your place soon for the update!

The donor could… hahahhaha! Home… **Snort** school…. Hahahahaha! Whew, that’s rich!

Ok, whew, ok, yeah… I’m ok. Got it under control now… **snicker giggle** Ahhh, that’s like ME saying the donor could home school. Oh crap, I’m gonna start laughing again!

This is why I chose the school for Em that I did–Nate, Zelda’s kid, all the other kids who want to LEARN and aren’t interested in fulfilling someone else’s criteria. I’m going to go online and see if there’s a comparable school near you. I’ll email you, Sweetheart.

You and AJ both mentioned the same thing… and as I told AJ, having Sperm Donor in anyway involved is disasterous. He does more harm than good. He has no patience and ends up pointing fingers and shouting and berating Nate. Like Nate needs it. I’ve looked into every program in this area…. nuttin’. More below.

That is why I homeschool. I have one in front of the box, one behind the box, and the rest are at various different places inside the box. I have one visual, one auditory, and one verbal learner. We have so many different types around here it confuses me! lol.

You can make them fix an IEP for Nate, specially worked for him, EJ has one, and it really helps him.

GOod luck, and go show them what Nanner is made of!

They like to pretend his under an IEP but it doesn’t meet Federal guidelines. They hear “IEP” and suddenly everything we had discussed earlier is being implemented and then trashed. Wish I could home school.

I notice the same thing that Zelda does about our little girl. However, I think it’s quite important for her to know society’s “rules”. That’s just information she can use in the future to her own advantage the way she sees fit. So, I encourage her to continue to do what the teachers want while at the same time allowing her to learn on her own at home or with me.

That’s all you can do. There’s nothing worse for a child’s self esteem than to always be on the teacher’s bad side.


Inanna threaten to sue them for failing to educate your son. They had a year to get him ready for the next grade and they didn’t do their job. So they need to pick up the cost for his added school year. I know people this worked for.

After careful consideration, this is not my chosen path, although I am considering action under IDEA.

I like your new template.

Read Howard Gardner for good information on your conundrum. He created the theory of multiple intelligences and has an operation here at Harvard where they teach teachers how to respect different learning styles. V. interesting stuff.

Thanks Sloth. I actually did a lot of research today and Gardner came up. So did a lot of other stuff.


Why oh why do school districts do this to children and parents. I mean there has to be a happy medium here people! Have you thought about a Montisorri (sp?) environment?

I talked to Montessori today Kristin. They won’t accept him because he’s too old and won’t be able to adjust to the environment (regardless of the fact the Montessori environment has be recommended).

I understand where you’re coming from. On the 9th I go to the school for the final discussion w/my son’s school about his delay and if he qualifies for special ed. I had to do everything myself as far as discovering he may have a problem. Otherwise, they just would have held him back and said “Oh well”. I also had to be the one to put him in private tutoring, even though they should have started after-school tutoring as soon as they saw he was falling behind. Has the school sent you all the paperwork as far as your parental rights?

Beckie, my best wishes to you and your son. I fear you will soon learn you are your son’s one and only advocate. You know you can deduct stuff like that on your taxes??? Check into it for next year and this year too. (I think you have to itemize your deductions though). And they don’t send information about my rights or Nate’s… that would mean they are actually thinking of not trying to pull one over on less suspecting parents.

Even with the pidgeon holing they do now for education, which can be extremely frustrating, children are still so much better off in general. No longer is it common to hear of people failing multiple grades and not graduating from High School at the very least. I know it still happens but not on the grand scale that it was. Good luck, hon, i hope you get it sorted out!

No offense Seven, but I might believe that if I didn’t know that the teacher Nate has this year passed the Lonely Child with practically straight E’s last year … even in reading and math. That may be why I don’t have a lot of confidence in this school.

Does Nate have an IEP? If not, GET HIM ONE– insist the special ed team meet with you. Do not take no for an answer. They will use every excuse to get out of testing, because districts don’t want to pay. If he’s ADHD, it should be no problem to get him into the program. Special ed is not the stigma it used to be. It is one of the few ways children who do not fit into the box can receive a quality education. At that point, get his IEP to state that he must be taught in a style that he can understand. If the flipping school does not meet that standard, they open themselves up for a lawsuit- it is defiance of Americans with Disabilities. NOW, when he’s in 8th grade, bring yourselves out here, and get his defiant little ass in my class- I enjoy the challenges, and I promise you, HE WILL NOT BE BORED!!! Good luck.

Tsarina, thanks for the tips and right now I’m willing to do just about anything. See below.

I spent a shitload of time today reading more research on ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). Nate does fit the criteria in some aspects… however he is very passive as opposed to aggressive. He has shit fittin’ moments but for the most part, he is very passive, which makes him harder to “treat.” I also spent time looking in the mirror asking, “Are you part of the solution or part of the problem?”

Regardless of what the school does or doesn’t do, Nate is still my responsibility. Everything begins at home. I ordered three or four books today on ADHD, ODD, and OTM. (The OTM is One Tired Mom).

I came home and very calmly set down with Nate and talked to him about his defiance and the ADHD. He gets very anxious and talks alot when you talk to him about it. I talked to him about how I feel and how I felt as a kid and he agreed its hard to fit in. (Which he wouldn’t admit before) I also told him that just because we’re not exactly wired like other people doesn’t mean we were wrong, it just means were special. I told him that you wouldn’t expect a TV, a VCR and a PS2 to do the same things because they’re wired differently, even though they all use electricity. He seemed to “get” that analogy.

He also confided in me that he hasn’t been able to do his #3 multiplication table and I told him that today we would work on it and I asked him whether it was easier for me to go over it with him verbally or on notecards and he said he remembered things better written down. So, now he’s actually studying them sitting behind me. He likes the pink notecards.

There’s another book I want called… “Dreamers, Discoverers, and Dynamos: How to Help the Child that is Bright, Bored and Having Problems in School.” No one book is going to have every answer or even the right things to do that will work for Nate but I’m hoping by amassing more knowledge that a self-made plan, made by the one who knows him best, will have more of an effect than just carting him off to a psychiatrist. Nate is naturally distrusting of anyone who wants to test him or make him talk about things. He’s seen enough.

There is no more influential environment than home. Time to get our ducks in a row and make all this medicine worth what I pay for it. Thanks for your encouragement and thoughts. And Tsarina, I still think you’re the Number One Teacher of the Year.

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