Well, Well, Well…

August 31, 2004 at 1:28 am (Uncategorized)

So, you guys know I’ve been sick. For a while, I had no idea what was wrong with me. I thought it was just a really bad cold. Naturally, I did not want to pass this ailment along to my nephews, their cousins, or my brand new niece so I diligently packaged up J2’s birthday gift and Annie’s birth gift (which included a swank pair of hand-knitted booties) and shipped them up to my brother and his bitch via my parents last weekend. For J2, I got him a card and got some cool Army stickers I’m sure he would love, as my brother is in the Army National Guard and slipped in ten bucks, which is about what I would have spent on a gift anyway.

So, my brother and his bitch have been married six years. SIX YEARS! When I get their sweet, loving thank-you card in the mail, my name, my real name, the name that my brother has known me by for 33 years is spelled WRONG!! Furthermore, my loving brother, didn’t even sign the fucking thank-you card. What’s worse is… she spelled my name wrong on it TWICE!!

Now, there are several variations of the spelling of my name. I assure you I have had the same spelling for 33 years, damn, almost 34!!! And definitely the entire time that my brother’s bitch has been in my family.

Now I, being a bitch, and not just a bitch, but THE BITCH, have contemplated how to right this error. Perhaps I could conveniently write her a letter letting her know that no thanks is necessary and then proceed to spell all of their names wrong as I inquire as to the state of their union as either they are dI-vorcing or she has finally sapped what little strength my brother had left in his balls since he was either not present nor had the strength to sign the damn card nor the balls or brains to correct her spelling.

Perhaps to some this is not such a big thing. To me, its just another pitiful show as to how meaningless I am to them. It might be “just a name” but by God and Goddess, its my name. If I can remember how to spell AZ’s long ass Polish name, surely she could remember something so simple as I-N-A-N-N-A. I’m surprised she got my last name right. Maybe I’ll address the letter to my brother instead… something along the lines of Big “Little Bitch” Brother… and put her maiden name on the end. Bad things are sure to follow… bwhahahahahahahahaha.


  1. Esther said,

    how about the direct approach? Phone her, tell her no thanks is necessary, but if she feels the need to do it, please just spell your name correctly since that really shows that they care.
    *chuckle* this would be rocking the boat in a big way

  2. jakethelad said,

    Inanna, Innana, Ianana, oh shit, what’s the use. I’ll never know how to spell that name and as for you surname, that’s something else. Yeah, our name’s are so important. When I was a kid in primary school it was the best part of my day (well almost) when the teach called the roll and came to my name. I loved my name.
    Jake aka Anthony!!!!!!

  3. Inanna said,

    Esther — hee hee… you rock!

    Jake aka Anthony — I’ll forgive you for spelling my name wrong if you give me a kiss… right here —-> points to cheek, that’s the UPPER cheek. 😉

  4. Cootera said,

    I think you should send them a thank-you card for their thank-you card. Only spell her name wrong. At least three times. Oh, and try not to be **too** nasty whilst thanking them for the time and effort put into their reply. Sign it I-N-A-N-N-A… just to make sure the point gets across.

  5. Inanna said,

    This post was very tongue-in-cheek, sorta. Maybe I’ll get a T-shirt with my name spelled out on it, frame it and send it up there. LOL!!!

  6. Celti said,

    I like the idea of writing her a note with her name spelled wrong several times. Like they say, revenge is a dish best served cold. he he

  7. fleece said,

    Even better: (let’s say Inanna’s bro’s name is Steve)

    Dear Steve and his wife, blah blah blabbity blah…

    Hahaha! Don’t even bother mentioning her name, just call her The Wife.

  8. phoebe said,

    Ah yes, the misspelled name. Well acquainted. — Feebee, Fibi, Pheobe, Phebe, Pheoby, etc. My ex husband once misspelled my name on a bday card 9 years into our couplehood. But he was very easy to retaliate against —

    I like the t-shirt idea. Maybe I’ll get a bunch of my own made up.

  9. Cattiva said,

    Hey – you get thank you cards from your brother and his wife? Sheesh. I get nothin. Spit. Squat. Oh…I do get him bitching at me every once in awhile. And he emails me political tirades (since we are polar opposites politically). I’d bring it up to HIM, since he’s your brother. Something along the lines of “Oh brother dear, I appreciated the thank you card. Damned shame you didn’t have a chance to sign it. If you did, maybe you would have noticed my name was spelled wrong. Twice. Should I tell (insert wife’s name) how it’s spelled or can you handle it for me?” That ought to move him into action. I find the sicky sweet voice with mine scares him, as well it should.

    Oh wait…this isn’t about my jerkstore brother. it’s about yours. Sorry!

  10. Inanna said,

    Celti – I’m really beginning to wonder if its worth my time.

    Fleece – LOL!! Good one!

    Phoebe – I vote we get T-Shirts

    Cattiva – Are you sure we’re not sisters and we don’t have the same brother?? That would be tooo freaky!!

  11. Celti said,

    it probably isn’t.

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