My 100th Post

August 25, 2004 at 7:52 pm (Uncategorized)

And what do ya know? I got nothing to say. I always say that and come up with something.

My boss sent me home a whole five minutes early today. I guess he got tired of listening to me cough. Otherwise, I think he’s getting ready to fire the office manager and wanted to clear the building before the walk of shame. Or, I’ll go back tomorrow and things will be the same as they were when I left.

Our office manager, I love him to death, great guy, horrible manager. Not that we need much direction but he had a serious dereliction of duty resulting in all our dental insurance being cancelled… just when the boss and his daughter had $3000.00 worth of work done. Ouch. Not that the OM hasn’t had serious derelictions of duty before… just thought he would get the picture.

And what the fuck is up with my friend Bragger? Look, okay, I made a mistake last year of fucking this guy. That’s right, I admit it, I fucked him. We had sex. Sex. Fucking. Not making love or any of that… fucking. His ex-girlfriend had just left him after five years and he needed to feel lovable again and frankly, I was just horny. Now, we had hit it before so I knew he was good in the sack, he’s just otherwise irritating as fuck. I told Michael (that’s blogger Mike) that I would rather knaw my own arm off as to do him again.

Why? One, because he won’t leave me the fuck alone. Two, because he won’t shut up digging for compliments about how great it was last time. Three, because in the middle of the deed last time he wanted me to watch a home-made porn of him and his ex-girlfriend. I know his ex-girlfriend. I didn’t think that was cool. Yeah, I had purposefully gotten toasted and high, it takes that much to deal with him. I shouldn’t have done it but he just did it basically to get back at his Exx. Okay.

So, this is how I am… even if I know and they know its just a “knock boots” situation, I still treat them with respect, even when things get deliciously dirrrrty. Flat out, some of the things that happened before we hit the sack disrespected me, not in a huge there-is-no-way-I’m-doing-you-now way but in a way that I took note. The wanna-watch-a-porn-with-my-ex-girlfriend just did it for me. He disrespected her big time. He ended up taking her back, which I knew he would, and she ended up using his ass again, like I knew she would and now she’s left him again, like I knew she would, and now he won’t leave me alone.

I don’t mind chatting with him online but he always goes back to what happened last year. Wanting props for how good we were together. Dude, I was drunk and stoned. Yeah, it was good but then again, what do I know? I was drunk and stoned. It felt good and then it felt good to get the fuck away from you. I knew when I got out of your car that I would not be there again. I used to do stupid stuff like that but… I have changed since then. Its just not worth it to me anymore to get a lay and then have to deal with that shit.

I’ve told him repeatedly, DO NOT COME TO MY HOUSE WITHOUT CALLING FIRST. What does he do? You guessed it… shows up unannounced. I’m rude. I don’t let him in the house. He can stand outside. The time before that I ripped him a new asshole in front of one of his friends, that’s how mad I was. It probably doesn’t help that when I see his number I only answer about one out of a million times.

Don’t get me wrong… Bragger is a good guy. He would probably give me the shirt off of his back if I asked for it. It just irritates him that I never ask for it. He’s the kind of guy who needs a woman who needs him, which I do not. He’s the kind of guy who wants to take care of you, which means, he wants to smother the fuck out of you. Not my thing. He feels like a bad sweat on a humid day, when you’re hair won’t dry out and you’re sure your skin will rot.

And, hence his name, Bragger brags a lot. If you make money, he makes more… you had a hard day, his was harder… if you’re sick, he’s sicker or been sicker… you lost weight, he’s lost more. It detracts like hell from his good qualities. You get so sick of him you really can’t see them unless you know him a long time. Even then, after seven years, I’m still not down with it. I still can’t stand it.

Bragger is the kind of guy who tries to convince you that you need him. The harder he tries with me the more turned off I get. He’s always telling me that I’m too independent and I need to let someone in… just so long as that someone is him. Fuck that. I would kill him. I told him, “No amount of sex, hot sex, wonderful glorious sex, will make up for the fact that we simply do not have compatable personalities. I WOULD KILL YOU.” If my eyes roll back in my head in the worst way possible online, do you really think I could deal with seeing him in the flesh four or five times a week??? YIKES!!

This is the reason I’d like to know where UPS man is going… I don’t think I could handle two of them. I guess this may speak highly for my sex skills, right up to the part where he mentioned the porn of him and his Exx. Dude, get a clue! I don’t care who you fantasize about, Lord knows, I wasn’t probably thinking about you but keep you’re fucking trap shut. It didn’t hurt my feelings, I KNOW how good I am in bed… but I’m not wasting it on you, furthermore, I really like my arms.


  1. Zelda said,

    L.O.L. Inanna! That poor fucking guy! I can’t believe his ego hasn’t been completely obliterated. He sounds slightly delusional.

    he probably needs a nice quiet girl who thinks he’s the bees’ knees. I get the picture.

  2. Outburst said,

    I now have a name for all the Braggers I know. You have a bad experience and they can top it with a story of their own, impossible to deal with aren’t they? They never listen, it’s just me, myself and more of me.
    Bragger, know him and her and all of ’em quite well.
    Good move to keep him waiting outside and if UPS man at least listens you’re better off accepting his packages in my estimation.
    The movie with the ex not only disrespected her but you as well and even more importantly in fact. Cripes.
    If he’s coming over unnannounced despite fair warning, and you have to rip him a new hole the guy is obviously deluded.
    Cut him loose sweetie. 100th post, what better time for a fresh start? Tell Bragger to stay home with his movies, call up the UPS man and put your cards and your sexy body on the table in front of him.
    You deserve a real man, it only took me a few weeks of reading Anything Goes to figure that much out.

  3. Trashman said,

    Is Bragger a dude or a chick? For Christ sake grow a pair. Your good to be rid of that one.

  4. Inanna said,

    Zelda – It would help if she’s deaf too.

    Outburst – Great advice… sorry you know a Bragger too… a real man would be nice.

    Trashman – Bragger is a guy and Trashy, if my cajones get any bigger they’ll start hanging out of my shorts… now how attractive would that be????

  5. Cattiva said,

    Brilliant post, as usual, my friend. If you are not a writer in “real” life, then you should consider it. I’m not just blowing wind up your mini either.

    And I’m sorry, but in regards to that bit with the video of him and his ex – that is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard. And I mean ever. He could NEVER be a good enough lay to overlook that. Ick. You’d be better to stock up on the batteries.

  6. fleece said,

    heeheeheeeeeee!!!! aaah, this is why I like coming to this blog. Best of the best, Inanna telling it like it is.

  7. Inanna said,

    Catt — I don’t wear minis anymore, the wind always blows and shows my cajones… thanks though, I would like to be a ‘real’ writer.

    Fleece — I try to tell it like it is… sometimes I don’t know what ‘it is’ though… :o)

  8. jakethelad said,

    You reckon he earns money, babe wait till I tell you about how much I earn. And the car I drive, it’s the best, and blah blah blah. Braggers piss me off. But, hey man, you should see the size of my …….wallet!

  9. Inanna said,

    awwww.. Jake you big flirt, I’d love to see the size of your.. wallet.

  10. Sloth said,

    Ew ew ew ew ew with the porno of the ex-girlfriend!!! Gnasty yucky ick!

  11. evilsciencechick said,

    LOSER! Oh…just…what a….LOSER!

    Ick Ick to velcro men!

    but the bragger part makes him sound like TopperHeehee!

  12. jp said,

    My wife’s best friend is a bragger. I’ve told her more than once to STFU (shut the eff up). The wife hates it when I tell her that…but she can always tell when it’s coming. She’s tried to jettison me to another area of the house before it comes to that, but she’s usually too late.

    It’s been my experience that a woman wants to feel wanted and not needed. Needy sucks balls.

    Oh and I don’t think seeker (or whoever that was) was telling you to grow a pair. I think he was directing that comment toward Bragger.

  13. Inanna said,

    Slothy Slothikins – didn’t mean to make you more nauseous this morning.

    Regan – LMAO!! “Topper,” that was too funny!! We used to call a guy that from way back when… same thing as a bragger. Yeah, “rip” to the ick of the velcro men.

    JP – Yeah, needy sucks balls!! And it was Trashman… hee hee and put a big STFU to your friend’s wife for me too… just for the hell of it.

  14. Seeker said,

    LMFAO jp it was not I who would be so crass as to tell a female to “grow a pair”….or would I? nay twas not me… this time 😉

  15. Inanna said,

    Seeker — but you know you wanted to ;o)

  16. Cootera said,

    This post has been removed by the author.

  17. Cootera said,

    Inanna… yipes!! I’ve always had a problem with people just showing up on my doorstep. If he does it again, do the ol’ reauchambeau and kick his frikkin’ nuts as hard as you can. Poor guy. **scccchmaaaack**

    Sigh… what a waste of a good woman’s time.

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